How Does a Daffodil Survive in Winter?

xvii | I Hate Myself and the Person Who Made Me

I think it's fair to say that day was filled with the appearance of inadequate parents. Though, it was also a day where Theo woke up and chose to give sentimental talks that may as well be the end of my unsentimental self. That is if I could survive the first monster; my mother.

Speaking of my mother, when I saw her standing there, all I could feel was the flaming ball of anger inside me expanding. Everything was her fault. She was the reason why I got all that bullshit from those people and why I will continue to receive said bullshit from those people. 

 And there she was, ruining my chances of happiness once again.

Only for a moment did I contemplate running away but that was illogical. Besides, I wasn't one to run away from the possibility that my time for revenge has finally arrived. So with fire in my eyes and revenge on my mind, I storm inside, not stopping until I face-to-face with the woman who I have spent my entire life hating.

"Why the fuck are you here?" I spat at her.

"I'm back from rehab."

"I don't think so. There's no way in hell they let your ass outta there," I growled.

My mother never actually tried to quit. Ever since my Aunt took custody of me, she was sent to rehab so she could turn her life around. But as soon as she was let out of rehab, her addiction came back and she was back in rehab. The cycle would go on and on with her never wanting to change her ways. I had come to the conclusion a long time ago that my mother was a lost cause. However my aunt, being the positive person she is, is still holding on to a practically non-existent hope.

"Marnie!" Aunt Kathy yelled at me. "Do not speak to your mother like that!"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Why the fuck do I have to be nice to her. She doesn't fucking deserve it."

"Watch your language."

"I don't fucking get why you're still defending her after everything," I yelled, pointing at my mother.

"That's it!" Aunt Kathy scolded. She slammed the door shut.

I didn't even flinch. My eyes travelled briefly to the empty outside before the door slammed shut and felt relieved that Theo had left.

The relief was soon gone when I was met with the face of my mother and a very angry aunt Kathy.

My aunt calmed herself and she said in the calmest voice possible, "Your mother and I will be visiting our parents for Christmas and you are not coming because I don't want you to cause any trouble." There's my aunt for you. Always caring about her image. Only keeping around things or people that make her look good.

"Fine, whatever. Have fun at your family gathering," I remarked, knowing that the entire family and extended family were going to be there... all except for me.

I didn't want to go anyways since I never fitted in with my relatives. For starters, I don't look like them at all. They were all fairly tall and had blue eyes. I would get put with all the little kids because of my height and the fact that none of my relatives like me all that much. Well, they did put me there for a couple Christmases but then I started to joke around with them. All I did was teach them a couple of words they would eventually learn but everyone kept acting like I hurt them or something. After that, I wasn't allowed to sit with the kids nor was I allowed to sit with anyone. They all thought I was trouble, something to steer their children away from.

Maybe it's only because my relatives all hate me and just needed to find a reason to kick me out. Because there's this even more annoying great aunt or something like that; I'm entirely sure how she was related to me, and she's always giving people her so-called 'life-advice'. Her name's Cynthia and she was in her fifties. She would always wear so much makeup and she was so bad at it. And she smelled like a whole bottle of perfume. Anyways, one time she went up to me and just started asking about my life. So, I told her the basics, you know, the whole 'schools-going-great-I'm-great" thing. When I finished, I could tell she wasn't listening. She only asked me to be polite. What she really wanted to do was give me a piece of her mind. Cynthia was such a misogynist. She kept telling me that I needed to be good at 'what a woman should do' and find a good husband. Eventually I got sick of her and told her that we weren't in the 19th century. That pissed her off and she tried to argue with me but when she realised that she was wrong, she walked away all pissed and never spoke to me again.