Why was I sent here ( red vs blue)

Episode 3

(I don't own anything but my original character, everything rvb belongs to rooster teeth,)

Simmons and Grif are on top of Red Base. A soldier in red armor is walking up the ramp behind them.

Simmons: Hey, that's not exactly what happened.

Grif: Yes, it is. You said, "I'm not going to the Vegas quadrant," and then the next thing I know you're in an escape pod headed for-

Donut: Excuse me, uh, sirs.

Grif: Sirs? Ah crap.

Donut: I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost Number One and speak to whoever's in charge.

Grif: Sorry man, Sarge is at Command getting orders. Ain't nobody in charge today.

Simmons: Actually, Private, he left me in charge while he's gone.

Grif: You are such a kiss-ass.

Simmons: Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you I should... (clears throat then poorly imitates Sarge) "Git in the Warthog, and crush yer head like a tomato-can."

Grif: That's the worst impression I've ever heard.

Simmons: Okay rookie, what's your story?

Donut: Private Donut reporting for duty, sir. I'm ready to fight some aliens.

Grif: Couple things here, rookie. First off, Private Donut? I think somebody needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color?

Donut: This IS the standard issue red.

Grif: Yeah, I know. Listen. Only two kinds of people wear standard issue armor: officers and recruits. And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer.

Donut: (looks at Simmons) Well, he's wearing red armor.

Simmons: No, my armor is maroon. Your armor is red.

Donut: Well, how do I get a different color armor?

Simmons: I bet the blues don't have to put up with this kind of crap.

Church, Tucker, Samantha and a soldier in standard issue blue are looking at a tank.

Caboose: So I say to the guy, "How're you gonna get the tank down to the planet?" And he goes, "I'll just put it on the ship," and I go, "If you've got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?"

Samantha takes out a piece of paper and starts to write on it

Tucker: Hey, kid.

Caboose: Yeah?

Tucker: You're ruining the moment. Shut up.

Caboose: Oh. Okay. You got it man!

Church: You know what? I could blow up the whole god damn world with this thing.

Samantha now done with the notes hands it to caboose, the note read " you know there are weaponized versions of the pelican"

Caboose: really?

Samantha nods her head

Back to the Reds.

Simmons: Okay, Private Donut, here's the deal.

Grif: I just refuse to call him Private Donut!

Simmons: We've got a very important mission for you. You think you can handle it?

Donut: Absolutely!

Simmons: We need you to go to the store, and get two quarts of elbow grease.

Grif: Yeah and uh, pick up some headlight fluid for the Puma too.

Donut: The what?

Simmons: He means the Warthog.

Grif: You do know where the store is, right, Rookie?

Donut: What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do. Sure, no problem.

Simmons: Well, get going then.

Donut starts running across the base.

Grif: Other way.

Donut turns around and goes the other way.

Donut: I knew that. Just got turned around that's all.

Grif and Simmons watch Donut running off into the Gulch.

Simmons: How long do you think until he figures out there's no store?

Grif: I say... at least a week.

Donut runs through the Gulch, stops, and turns to talk to himself.

Donut: Elbow grease... How stupid do they think I am? Once I get back to base with that headlight fluid, I'm gonna talk to the Sergeant.

Back with the Blues.

Tucker: You know what? Forget what I said before. We can definitely pick up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks a piece.

Church: Oh man, listen to you. What're you gonna do with two chicks?

Tucker: Church, women are like Voltron: The more you can hook up, the better it gets.

Samantha raises her rifle and hits tucker in the back of the head with it

Back to Grif and Simmons.

Simmons: You think that we were too mean to the kid?

Grif: Nah, he'll just wander around on the cliffs for a few hours. What's the worst that could happen?

Donut approaches Blue Base.

Donut: Finally, there it is. ...Oh sweet! They sell tanks!

(Well hope you enjoy this chapter which is basically rvb episode 3 with some slight differences in stuff. Anyways hope your day or night is going well goodbye )