Always been u

I'll wait for u

(Nia)
I have been going to school every day. And every day I hope that Chris will be there. But he's never there. I just feel so bad. Maybe he is sick. But his friends are really acting like he's not here because of me. So I guess that's why. And I don't want to be the reason for him acting sick so he doesn't have to go to school and meet me. I thought my plan was waterproof and everything was good. But it wasn't. Cuz now I think of him more then before. And I hate myself more then ever for what I've done. I sit in the bus home with Bella.

-How are u? You've been acting so strange lately, she says.

I look at her. She suddenly hugs me. Like I've said before, I don't like hugs. But like a guy said, sometimes all u need is a hug. When I think of that I get so sad.

-Please tell me. Maybe I can help?, she says.

-No it's just.. u know that guy from the party at Ian's?, I ask.

-Yeah. Christoffer right?, she asks.

I nod. I don't know what to say.

-And what's up with him?, she asks.

-I need to talk to him but he's never in school, I say.

-But go to him then?, she says.

-I don't think he want me to. He doesn't like me, I say.

-You'll never know if you don't try, she says.

-I guess, I say.

-Oh I'm home. I think you'll figure it out, she say and hug me before getting of the bus.

Why are everyone telling me that. You'll figure it out. I haven't. I can't figure out good things. I just make everything worse when I try. I see his house on the road and without thinking I push the stop button. I get of the bus and look at his house. That happy feeling I had here last time is gone. Maybe forever. I don't know. I go to the door and ring the doorbell. I hear steps inside and I hold my breath. It's his mom that opens the door.

-Hey Nia, she says.

-Hi. Are Chris at home?, I ask.

-No he's not. He's out somewhere. Do you miss him in school?, she asks.

-Yeah. Maybe you can tell him I've been here?, I ask.

-Yeah I can, she says.

I'm about to go when I realise.

-Oh wait I have the clothes, I say and take them from my bag and hand them to her.

-Oh no Chris told me you really liked them. They don't fit me anymore anyway. You can have them, she says.

-Oh really? Thank u so much, I say and hug her.

-No problem. Come in if you want to?, she says.

-No it's fine I have to go home, I say.

-Alright. I just let u know that your always welcome, she say.

-Thank u. See ya, I say and she say goodbye.

I stop I the end of the street. What am I supposed to do now? I have no idea where he is. He can be anywhere. I look forward and see the the way I always walk to the harbour on. I get a strong feeling he's there. But I can't feel that? Well I have nothing else to do. I decide to walk to the harbour and check if he's there. It's a long and boring walk when your alone.

I see him sitting in the bench. Exactly the place where we were on our first date that weren't a date but we're a date. The sunset are slowly starting. I sigh. Just seeing his back make me nervous. I've been ruin everything. I don't want to hear him say that. I don't want to hear him saying everything he thinks of me now. But I have to explain to him. I can't live with the thought of knowing that he think I spoke truth that day. I just can't. I walk to him.