Falling [ 𝓚.𝓥 ]

"𝐀 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞"

"Happy 18th" I mumbled to myself as I sat myself upright on my bed, and pushed my duvet away from me. I stared out the window, attempting to see past the fog to try and make out any sign of life in the outside world. Every other teenager would spend their 18th birthday celebrating with family and friends, receiving expensive presents and eating all sorts of desserts as a treat. But in the Astor family, being the only daughter meant you receive an expensive ring and a random man for a husband. It had been 3 years since my family and I had moved to Madrid from London. In England, our risks of being caught with drugs, guns, illegal money and fraud were too high, we made dangerous mistakes and it would have cost us in the future.
I was lost in my thoughts until I heard a knock on my bedroom door. My maid, Claudia, nervously opened the door with a basket of laundry in her arms. She nervously cleared her throat, and looked at me.
"Mr Astor would like to see you in his office, Marina". Claudia quickly used her elbow to move strands of her blonde hair out of her face before she hastily picked up a few of my plates and departed.
After all the years Claudia had worked for my family, I would have thought she would be less shy. She had once told me that my parents do scare her, and she's only ever really comfortable with me. When I was 12, Claudia had almost lost her job because mother wasn't satisfied with the way she washed her evening gown, but I quickly ran to father to fix everything. From then on, Claudia was quite literally my only friend, the only person who wasn't entirely afraid of me. I was never a daddy nor mummy's girl, or for that matter, anyone's girl. Everything about me was overlooked and I never did receive enough attention growing up. Father was and is an alcoholic, drowned in the work and drug empire he built. Mother, mother is trapped in a marriage she gave her consent to, but refuses to admit any of her regrets. As long as her sons were here, that was all she lived for.
I rose from my bed, and decided I was better to go downstairs in my satin nightdress, and my slippers. I paused to look at myself in the mirror, I was once so full of life but as I grew older, the life in me died. I wrapped a lock of my cinnamon brown hair around my finger and stared at my reflection. My eldest brother, Silas, would tell me that I am a literal chocolate. Everything about me was brown- my hair, my eyes and my skin was described to be caramel and bronze. The compliment was sweet until Silas informed me that I spoil my appearance, because I wasn't as sweet as chocolate. I smiled to myself as I reminisced the memory. Much like the rest of my 4 brothers, Silas was also married off. Much later than me, but he was lucky with the girl he was arranged with. Silas ended up with a kind and beautiful woman, I hadn't seen her since my middle brother's wedding, but her name was Gloria. I failed to remember a lot about her, but she assured me when my time came,
"everything will be okay".
Next came my second eldest brother, Cassius. Cassius was awful to me, he made sure I spent my nights crying myself to sleep, wishing I could sleep and never wake up again. Nothing made me feel safer than when Cassius was married at 20 to a woman named Celia, I never met her properly but she seemed lovely enough.
Then came Finn, he was definitely the funniest. Finn got in trouble on behalf of me a lot of the time, he was the type to get father all angry by how much he spoke and made stupid remarks that made everyone silently laugh. To take the piss, Finn learnt Finnish and eventually moved to Finland at 23 with his wife Valeria, a strong, independent woman who definitely put Finn in his place most of the time. It was no doubt, they were madly in love even if it was an arranged marriage.
Now comes Dominik, his marriage makes me nervous for my own. Dominik and I didn't always get on but he ended up getting married at 19 to a girl from the Italian mafia, Camilla. Their marriage only lasted 5 years, and that was only because the contract "expired". Dominik and Camilla would argue every other day, whether it be because she would cheat and Dominik would do the same. Their marriage was fucked from the start but it had to go on.
The youngest brother, Victor, had an arranged marriage to a woman with the last names Escobar from the cartel. I hadn't seen the two since their wedding, but I doubt it's a marriage of love.
My brothers' marriages are what scared me the most, they all turned out horribly different.