Falling [ 𝓚.𝓥 ]

"𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬, 𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬"

𝓐𝓵𝓮𝔁𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻'𝓼 𝓟𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓽 𝓞𝓯 𝓿𝓲𝓮𝔀:

I couldn't say I ever liked the Spanish gangs in Madrid, I wasn't familiar with the way they had things done. My job meant I had blood on my hands, I wasn't always proud of it, but most people deserved it. The difference is, the ugly description of mine and Mr Astor's job was and would always be kept away from Mrs Astor, and Marina. Her brothers knew all of it, while Marina was unaware of the fact her brothers still had parts in the life of crime. Kazi Astor always emphasised to me,
"Protect my wife and Marina from the vile details of our work".
Those words are engraved into my mind, and everything I said to Marina and Mrs Astor was always thought through. Mrs Astor knew what type of lifestyle she married into, but she was lucky she married Kazi. Marina on the other hand, none of knew what she married into. I fought with Kazi to leave Marina out of the work, and that I could have just as easily received all of the information he wanted Marina to get out of Fransisco. I watched her grow up, she didn't deserve to grow up on blood money, and she definitely shouldn't have to get involved on making it over a family feud. She cried to me for fuck sake, I thought. And it killed me, the mere thought of not being able to do anything about it.

𝓕𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓲𝓼𝓬𝓸'𝓼 𝓟𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓥𝓲𝓮𝔀:

I was pissed off. I knew I was a bad person. I fucking killed people, drug dealed, fucked multiple women, tortured people, carried guns and knives, intentionally poisoned people- but I wasn't a fucking woman beater. How low am I thought of by Marina, for her to flinch when I held her? I kept playing over what happened in my head, getting furious each time. I didn't know whether I was pissed at myself, Marina, or what caused her to react that way. The reason for the marriage kept fucking me in the head. It was pointless for me to marry the only daughter of the Astors because of something my father did. There was nothing wrong with Marina, she was a looker, I thought. But I had no time to commit to a woman, I had better things to do. So I declared to Marina, that we were only married on paper, but we were free to do as we wish. I convinced myself that it's better if I can fuck other women, and she can fuck other men, this wasn't a marriage of love, I thought to myself.
It had been a while since she left to go see her brother, I hoped she learnt to not lie to me again. I was getting sick of listening to my father and Mr Astor boast to each other, and my mother and Mrs Astor silently throwing daggers at each other with their eyes. What fucked me over the most was, the fact that we were taking Marina with us, on that day. She was to try on her wedding dress, speak with my mother and father, meet my siblings and get other shit done. The whole engagement got me nothing. Marina was to get a 1.5 million Euro ring made from diamonds in Austria and gold from fucking Switzerland while it was fucking put together in Germany, and she gets my last name. All I receive is a pretty woman to escort to events.
Just as I was thinking about her, Marina walked in with a brother on each side. The tall one with the Colombian wife on her right, and the Finnish speaking one on her left. She met my eye, but immediately broke the contact like I was going to turn her into fucking stone. They all sat back down on their original seats, giving each other little smirks like no one else in the room could see them. Unlike most women who spent the day with me, Marina Astor seemed undoubtedly happy. Even under the circumstances we were in, she'd still laugh and blow the few strands of hair away from her eyes. Other women would get all pissed and angry, downing every bottle of liquor in sight just to forget my face.
I ended up downing a glass of whiskey, pissed with the world like every other fucking day. I set my glass down and stood up, yelling "Vamos" above the noise level, I was getting tired and didn't want to stay here any longer.
My father asked me in Spanish,
"Why so soon, hijo?"
I glared at my father, and he glared at me in return, before deciding we might as well had left.
"We're taking the girl with us, back to our place. You can all come tomorrow, sí?" My father declared.
Everyone murmured in agreement, thought it was difficult to miss the look of disappointment on Marina's face.
"Vamos, vamos! Let's get moving" my father ordered. Everyone began to stand up, and we were all ready to leave.
"Sergio, allow me to have a conversation with my daughter, alright? Just to make sure she behaves" Mr Astor stated.
My father waved his hand and yelled
"Make it quick, Kazi".
I observed the rest of her family before going outside to wait for my fiancé.

𝓗𝓲𝓳𝓸 = 𝓢𝓸𝓷
𝓥𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓼 = 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓸𝓷/𝓵𝓮𝓽'𝓼 𝓰𝓸
𝓢í = 𝔂𝓮𝓼

-𝓚.𝓥 💋