Pain of Love - Tom Kaulitz

The Last Resort

"Ashton?" I inquire, putting my head around his door, Nick close behind me. Just as I assumed, he's placed at his desk, head in his hands.

My cousin's head whips up at the sound of my voice with wide eyes and an expression resembling relief to see me standing in one piece. He rises from his chair. "Lily.. oh my god, you're back, I was so--"

"I want answers." I state firmly as Nick and I step into the room. Ashton falls silent, his mouth closing.

"Please, guys," he begins. "If you could just let me explain myself--"

I cut him off once more, not in the mood to evade the matter any longer. "Save it." I snip, trying desperately to prevent any detection of shaking in my voice. "We deserve to know the truth. So if there's something else you're not telling us.."

"W-wha-- I don't understand. What else do you want me to say? I don't know anything else." Ashton starts.

"What's all this, then?" Nick points out, his hand gesturing to the desk. "Drawing for fun?"

My eyes fall onto the contents scattered messily on his desk. Piles upon piles of papers, some scrunched up into balls, others simply discarded with pen etched all over them.

Ashton lets out defeated sigh and runs a hand through his sandy blond hair. "Look.. ever since you came home raving about a tattoo, I've been trying to find a motive as to why Crenshaw did what he did."

Suddenly his strange behaviour over the past few weeks has been answered, why he had spent so much of his time locked up in this room. He had been looking for answers.

I fold my arms across my chest and quirk a brow at him condescendingly. "Oh really? And how's that going for you?"

"Come on, guys. They were my family too, okay?" He sighs. That, I can understand. I can also sympathise with the fact that their deaths have obviously effected him too, and that he's done all he can to find a motive.

"I've tried. I really have. But every lead I've found turns up cold. I can't find any valid reason as to why he'd want them dead. Or how they were even involved with each other in the first place."

"There has to be something." Nick tries. "Someone we can talk to?"

Ashton thinks for a moment before responding. "There is someone. But that's out of the question."

What? He cannot be serious. "What do you mean, Ash?" I retort. "If there's someone who can help us, then we should go see them."

"No. Not him." Ashton's head shakes his head firmly, his lips forming a thin line. "Anyone but him."

"Jesus christ, Ash who is it?" Nick shouts out impatiently.

The room falls silent for a couple seconds as we wait for Ashton to talk. He pulls in a sharp breath and scoffs, looking me dead in the eyes.

"Tom Kaulitz."

I blink. Had I heard him right?

Nick scoffs "Are you serious?"

"I'll do it." I speak up reluctantly, catching Nick throw me a skeptical glance in my peripheral vision.

"No. You don't know what he's like. He'll manipulate you, trick you into making some kind of deal. There's-- There's always a catch with him!" The words fall from Ashtons lips in a form of desperate convincing. "I'm not letting you see him again."

I take a step forward, my next sentence coming out harshly. "That's not your call to make."

Neither of the boys say anything at that. I turn to my brother who watches me with blue pleading eyes. "Lily, you can't. What if he hurts you?"