Pain of Love - Tom Kaulitz

Hit Me

*TOM'S POV*

12 hours ago.

** "Where's Lillian?" Georg and Gustav offer each other puzzled glances at my urgent tone as I approach their table.

"She left with Bill. You just missed her," Georg responds, taking a casual sip of his drink, his demeanour a stark contrast to mine.

"Fuck," I snap to myself.

"Everything okay? She looked pretty upset when she left," Georg asks, raising a brow at me.

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's great." I pinch the bridge of my nose, screwing my eyes shut. Georg's words cause images of Lillian standing in front of me to flash through my mind, her blue eyes filling with tears over what I said.

I groan, hating more than anything that I made her feel so awful, that instead of making her laugh, I reduced her to tears.

"I appreciate the sarcasm," Georg responds as I flop down into the booth, causing Gustav to chuckle.

"You're welcome," I mutter as I take the drink placed in front of me and down it in one go.

Everyone lapses into conversation once more, but I find it impossible to sit still, my mind racing with thoughts that all circulate around Lillian.

Seeing her with that guy set something off inside me. I've never felt that kind of jealousy, never felt so possessive over a girl and I can't rid the image from my brain. The way his hands roamed her body, his lips pressed against hers. All the things I do to her, the things that only I should get the privilege of doing. 

No one else.

The way he grabbed her was just as bad, if not worse than seeing her kiss another man. God, I wish I killed that asshole.

I drag a hand tiredly down my face, the music and my surroundings becoming a blur the more I get lost in thought.

Why did I say that to her?

While Bill and I don't see our parents often, nor did we see our father much growing up, I couldn't imagine losing either of them. Especially my mother.

I feel guilty. So fucking guilty.

"Uh, Tom?"

A small and soft voice pulls me back to the present. I look to my left to see the same chick that I was hitting up earlier peering up at me with doe eyes.

Though it's only now that am I aware she's sat next to me, despite her having been there since the five minutes of my arrival.

My expression is probably nothing short of a scowl because she's now fidgeting with her nails, a hesitant expression present on her delicate features, one close to fear.

"What is it?" I say, slightly bothered that she's just sat there in silence after saying my name.

She clears her throat. "Are you okay?"

Her comment seems to piss me off even more, just reminding me of the argument I shared with Lillian not even fifteen minutes ago. My eyes narrow, jaw clenching as I remain silent, deciding it's better than lashing out once again.

Though as I watch the pink blush on her cheeks form, the rise and fall of her chest, I feel my anger change into a form of lust. My eyes rake down her body, pausing on the exposed cleavage hanging out of her dress.

The idea of a distraction enters my mind, knowing that she'll be able to temporarily give me what I want.

_________