Pain of Love - Tom Kaulitz

New Beginnings

A fresh start.

Or was it a way to forget? To leave the horrors of our past behind us?

As I peer out of the airplane window and my eyes fixate of the Statue of Liberty, a pang of guilt washes over me like a tidal wave. As I think of the family I abandoned back in London, I can't help but wonder if this was the wrong decision.

It just had all become too much. I needed to escape before I lost myself anymore than I already had.

With the death of our parents looming heavy in the atmosphere back at home, my brother and I had made the impulsive decision to escape and seek refuge with our cousin, Ashton, who lives in New York.

The death of Monica and Gabriel Claremont was something nobody had expected. Especially Nick and I. To come home and see your parents lying dead on the floor, murdered in cold blood, is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Their once warm and familiar faces were remorselessly stripped of life, their bodies lying in a pool of their own crimson red blood. The haunting image will forever be etched into my mind.

Something no amount of therapy can heal.

No amount of physical condolences are able to repair.

I'm sorry for your loss.

The phrase has become meaningless. Simply shallow sympathies expressed in attempt to replace the tenderness that I'd previously received from my mother and father.

It was deemed a freak chance. An unfortunate mistake that my parents fell victim to the hands of a killer. I refuse to believe that. I know there is more to it than what meets the eye. And I know in my conscience that it was more than just cold blooded murder. But Nick and I had decided to leave that part of our lives behind us the moment New York came into the picture.

My thoughts are cut short by my brother tapping on my shoulder. "Hey, you good?" He asks. His blue eyes pierce into my own, flickering with concern.

I offer him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Nick's dark eyebrows furrow together. "You were thinking about them again, weren't you?" I'm rendered silent. I purse my lips and look down at my nails, the tears threatening to form in my eyes. Nick was always able to read me like a book. Sometimes I wish I wasn't constantly so transparent around him.

I sigh and Nick gives my hand a comforting squeeze just as the plane lands into JFK Airport.

_____

As we wait outside the airport, my jaw drops to the floor at the car that pulls up beside us. My cousin waves from the driver seat of a sleek silver sports car. He wears a pair of sunglasses that sit atop his sandy blond hair. Nick laughs in disbelief and runs a hand down his face. Ashton shuts the door of his car and strides towards us with a smug look plastered across his face.

"Christ alive, Ash." Nick grins. His hand clasps with Ashton's as they pull each other into a hug. "That's a bloody nice car you've got there."

Ashton chuckles softly, pulling me into a hug. He steps back, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "It's good to see you both again." He smiles.

"Likewise." I return, pulling my bags around to the boot of his car. "How've you been?"

"I've been getting by." His comment is paired with a light shrug, the slight sarcasm and his gorgeous car not going unnoticed.

Ashton is my Mother's nephew. Our mothers were extremely close and because of this, he was someone we saw very frequently whilst growing up. That was up until a few years ago, when he moved out to New York to pursue his dreams. Come to think of it, he never really informed us on what exactly those dreams were. I am clueless as to what kind of job Ashton is running out here to be driving around a car like that. Before I speak up on the topic, Nick takes the question right out of my mouth.