Desire • Avian Journal 1

Reasons[2]

Reasons why I think I have a "slow" grow for my wings

I say slow because some people say that already have physical progress on days, weeks, of like 3-4 months when I barely have physical changes and I'm to basically 2 months from the first year trying to get my motivation to keep doing this every day

1. I'm a teen, my body it's probably more busy using the nutrients for other parts of my body

2. My mind trying to understand how it works, because some say

"oh you basically grow a second chest(the muscles near the boobs I mean)  and that it's connected to the wings"

other say

"oh it's just right below your shoulderblades"

some others say

"it would be better have like 2 pairs of wings, the big ones like near your shoulderblades made to help you fly, and the small ones near your wrist to add stability"

And some say

"You also would need a tail, since it's like the base of every bird"

It just makes it harder when I think too much about that, so I try mostly to remind myself that my body knows best but them I remind genetic malformations so my body doesn't know the best, but then I remember that's probably fault of the DNA

Then I get more confused because I don't know at all the themes I was thinking about.

3. I get much more mental process than physical process

I mean, damn, if you want to know how frequently I have dreams with wings I will never end since most probably everyday I will add a dream to the list

I been, for months, learning how to fully understand flying on dreams

Which was hard at the beginning since, well, it wasn't lucid at all

Then everything becomes partially lucid

In a dream u try to show my flying to someone and I realize it would be more easy to fly of I had a tail, because I only had wings, and with wings only I had to jump from big height, like, idk, a 4 floor height?, And it was so much ENERGY I used to try to keep in high ground

Thing that didn't happen since I would be slowly descending.
Yes I was going forward but also slowly falling

The next dreams I had a tail to help me in my stability
Them I realized it wasn't something automatic I would do for flying
I had to try to flap my arms really fast and the try to make my hips go up so...

Then I tried add the smaller pair of wings on my lower back would help to make the things more easy

Currently having wings as become an important part of my dreams

I am happy?
I flap my wings

I'm scared or I feel threatened?
I fly away

I'm bored?
I fly and cause chaos with the power that I have in dreams

Do I want go somewhere?
I fly

Flying is so important for me in my dreams, I come from not being aware of the presence to feel weird when I can't use them
My dreams are my comfort
I'm not strong physically there too
But at least more than in the real world
I still have so many emotions on dreams
I appreciate every emotion
Every dream it's a new experience

A horrible nighmare or the sweetest dream
Both feel so correct
Not matter the unpleasant emotions
All are experiences
And not matter how bad it can be, I will still appreciate everything that I will not see anytime soon

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I love y'all

Please drink water if you can
Please eat if you can
Please take care of yourself

If you can't do anything of these things today, it's okay, everything will be okay, I'm so proud of you even if you only wake up

Your dreams can be true birdies

I hope Palestine can be free

Have a nice day everyone

-VoidKid