Amara Freyadottir, the heir to the throne of Vanaheim, has never been one for royal trivialities. She would much rather spend her days exploring the lands of Vanaheim and Asgard, finding places to read, and having fun with her best friend, Loki. How...
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"thor just looks at her, his eyes conveying his heartbreak as much as amara's words convey her own."
THE DAYS THAT FOLLOW are not easy. Amara knows they are not supposed to be, but she still finds herself surprised by just how not easy all of it is.
A part of her was thinking that, after some time had passed, things would begin to feel normal again. That everything that happened between her and Loki would begin to simmer down and what was once there, the relationship, the connection, would surface again on its own. She thought that was how it was supposed to happen, but it hasn't.
Instead, things just feel... off. There's an awkwardness there, and every time the two of them are in the same room, it feels like neither she nor him knows what to say. They haven't really spoken much at all - most of Amara's time spent with Loki has been her with him in the infirmary, just being a silent, reassuring presence.
Maybe, she's started to think, too much has happened. Maybe all that they've both gone through has put a canyon between them that can't be crossed again.
And one of the worst things about it is she knows she shouldn't feel the way she does. She shouldn't become wary when Loki moves just a little too fast, she shouldn't feel worried about upsetting him with anything she does, she shouldn't feel hesitant when thinking about going to see him... but she does. She feels all of that, and she absolutely hates herself for it.
Despite all those feelings, though, there are some good moments. Like when she was reading in a common area and Loki walked around the corner, the first time he'd been allowed to get up and take a walk out of infirmary by himself. After he originally woke up and got somewhat settled in the tower, the main reason he was kept in the infirmary was the injuries to his back. Bruce had been doing a good job of taking care of him, but he'd told Amara the injuries were unlike anything he'd ever seen. They were so severe and must've been so painful, Bruce had absolutely no clue how Loki managed to lead the attack in that state. Amara figured the strength from the Mind Stone certainly had something to do with it.
When Amara saw Loki walking around for the first time, she hadn't been able to stop herself from smiling, both at the sight and the warm feeling that spread through her chest. She thinks that Loki smiled just a little, too, in that moment.
Another was when, the day after that, he left the infirmary again and found her in the same spot, this time coming to sit on the couch with her with a book of his own. He sat a whole cushion away from her - besides the one incident, he still didn't want people close to him or to be touched - but the fact he chose to sit on the same couch as her certainly said something.
As she sits now, telling Steve about all of this over a bottle of wine at well past midnight, he nods, understanding all of it. While she's been spending a lot of her time with Loki, Steve has practically been hovering over Bucky. In a way, she and Steve are having some of the same troubles. It's refreshing to be able to talk with someone who can understand, she realizes.
