Regulus Black/Marauders Era Oneshots

I'll Always go Back to Her

James broke up with Regulus because he loves Lily. Regulus tried ignoring it as his relationship with Sirius gets better, but nothing good ever stays for Regulus Black.

Tw: Suicide attempt

James had broken up with Regulus months ago. James had told him that he still loved Lily, and he would always go back to Lily. Regulus tried acting like it didn't effect him, but when James finally left, he broke down in the middle of the hallway.

That's how him and Sirius had began talking again. Sirius found him that night. Regulus knew for sure that had Sirius not found him, he might not have woken up that morning. His brother didn't push to know what happened as much as Regulus thought he would've. All Regulus til him was he couldn't tell anyone, and that he didn't want to think about it anymore. Sirius respected that.

He began to come around his brother more after that. He was properly introduces to Remus and James as well. Regulus didn't talk to James, and James didn't try to talk to him either. He wished James would've.

He liked Remus. He liked the way his whole presence was calming. It was like his mind finally relaxed around Remus, so he was definitely around the werewolf as much as he could be.

Regulus began sleeping with Sirius at night, no longer wanting to be away from them. His thoughts became too overbearing away from the marauders. James either had Lily stay over, or he went to Lily's dorm when Regulus stayed over. It was like James was trying to rub it in his face.

He ignored the way that his chest aches for James. He ignored the way he would drop everything to be at James' side if he asked Regulus to be, which never happened. He would do anything to be held by Hames one last time, but nothing was asked of him, so he kept quiet.

His brain made stupid remarks about Lily every time he saw her put something of James' in the wrong spot. He wanted to go over there and fix it, but he stayed away because James didn't want him. He wanted Lily.

One morning he woke up before everyone else, and he decided to clean the dorm. It had gotten to the point that some areas were impossible to walk through. He carefully put his brothers stuff where he'd seen it placed before. He placed Remus' things, very few things, where it would be more convenient for the man. He slowly set James' things where he knew James liked them. He folded James' clothes in the way James liked, and he stacked his homework in the order of when it was due, just like how James liked. Afterwards, he jumped in the shower, and he tried to convince himself that he did that to be nice, no other reason.

Sirius had thanked him after his shower. Remus joined in, but James looked annoyed. Regulus' eyes watered when James took Lily and left without a word. Sirius took a shower soon afterwards, and Remus asked him if something happened between him and James. "Yeah, but I can't tell anyone. He'll be mad at me." Regulus didn't say anything else on the subject. Remus did tell him that even though James didn't say anything, he was grateful. Regulus didn't tell Remus just how wrong he thought he was.

That night James didn't come back to the dormitory. Regulus tried not to let it get to him. He tried not to think about James, but his mind was running and running. Regulus couldn't stop it, neither could Remus. Sirius carefully rubbed his back as tears began rushing down his face. He couldn't turn off his thoughts. Remus tried whispering stuff to him, but he could hardly hear it.

He had changed so much in James' interest. James taught him how to talk like he was confident, not like he was a pureblood. He walked a different speed now, one that used to match James. His hands swung the way they would've had he been holding James' hand. He wore less fancy clothes because that's what James had liked. He let his hair fall over his eyes because James had liked moving it before they kissed. He felt so empty because he had done all of this for James, but he still left. He felt like in a way he was no longer himself, and James didn't even want this person that was made for him.

He tried to stop thinking about James. He tried thinking about his brother that was most definitely worried. He tried focusing on Remus who normally made these thoughts go away. Nothing helped though.

He told them he was going to the bathroom, and he stumbled to the door. He needed to do this. He needed his mind to stop, and this way the only way he knew how. He quickly found his brother's razor. He took out the blade, and he dropped his pants. He pushed the blade down and dragged. His chest felt lighter already.

He continued until his thighs were covered in red, and his hand was shaking too much to continue. He dropped the blade on the ground, and he tried getting up. He should probably stop the bleeding enough so it doesn't get all over Sirius bathroom floor. Regulus tried standing up, but he head spun. He hit the ground hard. He heard footsteps rush to the door. He brother yelled in asking what happened. The doorknob shook, and Regulus grabbed the blade again. All or nothing.

He slashed his arms as well. He hands shook, but he continued. He continued until his vision got blurry, and he once again dropped the blade. He ran his hands over the red staining the floor. He smiled and leaned back as the blood kept coming. Sirius' voice became more urgent, and instead of the doorknob shaking, there was pounding on the door. Remus had began begging for Regulus to let them in.

Regulus' vision started blackening when the door was blown up. Sirius had gasped stilling Regulus. Remus had instantly picked him up, soaking himself in Regulus' blood. There was a clock placed after him as they began running. To where, Regulus wasn't sure. All he knew is he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. He whispered in Remus' ear everything about James. He tried telling Remus everything that he felt, but he felt himself slipping away. He said last that he loved James. "But, he loves Lily."

When he woke up there was a tightness around his arms and thighs. Oh shit. Regulus sat up, and he instantly knew what happened last night. Damn it, they know, was the only think Regulus could think about until he was pulled into a strong hug. He relaxed into the familiar arms before pulling away sharply and yelling at the man. Of course, this is when James acts like he cares. He told James to go back and find Lily. He told James that he was a complete asshole showing up now. He yelled as much as he could before his brother came rushing in. He felt Sirius wrap his arms around Regulus' waist. He heard Sirius tell James to leave. He smiled because his brother had chosen him, not James.

Sirius whispered sweet promises in his ear, and Regulus relaxed in his brothers arms. Sirius eventually laid next to Regulus. Only then did Regulus realize just how weak he was. His body felt like it was being dragged through mud. He ignored it though. He cuddled up on his brother, and silently wished that James will come back. He can never hate James.