Regulus Black/Marauders Era Oneshots

Fallen Into His Mind

Regulus overthinks his and James' relationship, and he doesn't realize how much breaking up with him would actually hurt.

Regulus heart ached as he waited on the edge of the astronomy tower. He had sent a letter to James, asking to meet at the top. He had to break it off now. There are rumors getting around, and he can't afford for it to get back to his parents.

He thought about how James' touches felt late at night, and he thought about James' lips. He let his eyes slip closed, and he leaned his head against a wall of the window. He relaxed against the wind hitting his back, a steady reminder of the hundred foot drop behind him.

His eyes shot open, as he felt hands settle on his waist. He jumps back slightly, and they quickly tighten around him. "Fuck, Reg, I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you heard me coming," James whispered. Regulus quickly looked away from James' eyes, and he pushed himself forwards, off the edge of the tower. "What's wro-"

"We can't do this anymore," Regulus rushed out. His heart began to crumble in his chest before he even looked at James' reaction.

He looked up, and he was met with confused eyes. "What? Regulus, where did that come from? I thought that you-" Regulus quickly cut James off. He couldn't lie to James; he meant every word he had told James. He can't let James say that.

"Yeah, well, I think it's better if we don't see each other anymore." Regulus nervously rubbed his arms. He briefly relished in the fact he could still roll his sleeves up.

"So all that shit you said to me, that meant nothing to you?" James' voice began to rise. Regulus felt his blood draining. James was getting mad.

"I, uh, I wasn't- I wasn't really thinking, you know. Um, well, you- you assumed I didn't- I didn't mean it, right? So, no harms really done," Regulus tried. He couldn't force himself to tell James he didn't mean it, so he tried to just make it seem like he didn't. He felt like his ribs begin cracking at the tears that began to roll down James' face.

"So what was I to you then? Huh? Some side bitch you can fuck whenever you want?" James' voice was booming now. Regulus quickly casted a wordless silencing charm around them. He flinch when James took a step towards him.

Regulus silently begged for James to hit him. It would make this so much easier to do. He deserved it.

He looked up when nothing happened, and he saw a look of horror on James' face. Regulus stood confused before James began speaking. "Regulus, I'm so sorry. I wasn't going to hit you; I would never, ever, ever hit you. I'm so sorry I raised my voice," James rushed, fresh tears streaking down his face. Regulus didn't think twice before being James into a hug.

He relished quickly what he had done, and he backed away quickly. "James, I'm really sorry, but I can't risk doing this anymore." Regulus' voice cracked as he talked, and his mind was only focusing on how James had felt so close to him just a moment ago. He tried to ignore the fact that if he officially broke this off he'd never feel James' touch again.

Regulus felt like his heart was getting carved out of his chest. He has been through a lot of pain, most without even making a face, but nothing could compare to the feeling he was experiencing. He couldn't stop tears from falling down his face, and James quickly noticed. Regulus tried to stop crying. He tried to think of what would happen if they were ever caught, if his parents found out, but James pulled him into a tight hug. Regulus didn't have it in him to pull away.

Regulus relaxed quickly in James' arms. His legs gave out, and his sobs became louder. He curled into James as much as physically possible. "I'm sorry, Ja- James," Regulus whimpered. His head was pounding, and he couldn't stop thinking about losing James.

"Sh, Reggie, it's okay. We can talk about this later. How about we go back to my dorm? I brought the invisibility cloak," James whispered. James' voice was soft, a little raspy, but soft. Regulus cried harder, but he nodded into James' chest. He made a surprised noise when James easily picked him up. Regulus tried his best to be quiet as James all but ran to his dormitory.

"James, I didn't mean-" Regulus tried as James began walking in the portrait hole.

"Sh, Regulus, we'll talk about it later." James paused, thinking. "If you're okay with it, we can just cuddle tonight, ignore it for a little longer. You can tell me whatever it is tomorrow, and I promise I won't fight you. I'll let you do whatever you want, just, let's cuddle tonight, please." It felt too much like a goodbye. Regulus saw James' eyes begin to water, as he pushed open the dormitory door. It was surprisingly empty. 

"James," Regulus choked out, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. "No, I think we should talk right now. Please, let's talk about it now." James set Regulus down, and he tried to protest. They both had puffy eyes, and Regulus could see desperation forming in James' eyes. He cannot let James think he genuinely wanted to break this off.

Regulus grabbed James by his shoulders and brought him in a rough kiss. He pulled away, and James was frozen.

"I'm sorry, James. I'm sorry that I scared you so bad. I just, I've been thinking about this summer too much recently, and it's taken over a lot of my mind. I'm terrified of getting punished for being with you; I'm so scared of my parents finding out about us. I thought the best course of action would be to end it altogether. I couldn't make myself deny everything I told you, I couldn't lie to you, and I was wishing you would've just hit me because it would make leaving easier. I'm so sorry. I know you'd never hurt me, James. I broke down because thinking about you leaving hurts too much to even explain, and now, you basically just said goodbye. You said you wouldn't put up a fight with my decision, and I know that you were saying I can leave if I wanted. I don't want to leave; I never actually wanted to. I got too into my head, but I couldn't let you go to sleep tonight, thinking it would be our last together. I'm so sorry, James. Please, forgive me for getting in my head." The room fell silent. Regulus wanted nothing more than for James to speak up, or to yell, or anything. He was sobbing so hard, and he couldn't make himself look at James. 

"I'm sorry, Reggie," James whispered. Regulus looked up to see James' hands kind of floating in front of him. James was sobbing as well. Regulus took a small step forward, into James' hands. They relaxed quickly into each other's arms. Regulus felt the ache in his chest begin to unravel, and his mind began to relax. "I love you, too, Reggie. I was terrified to say it before. I didn't want to tell you if I wasn't certain I meant it, but I love you, Regulus. I love you so much; I can't lose you."

"I'm so sorry, James. I love you."