Regulus Black/Marauders Era Oneshots

I Love You

Regulus didn't realize that it was weird that he didn't desire a physical relationship. He didn't realize that it was normal, not to crave a sexual relationship. He didn't know that he was different. He didn't realize it until he stated it aloud, to James.

When Regulus thought of James, he didn't think of a toned body. He didn't think about how strong James must be; how James could manhandle him if he wished to. He didn't think about the size of James' hands. He didn't think about the way that James' hair always had a messed up look about it. Regulus didn't think about things like that. He heard whispers concerning those things. He heard whispers of things girls wished to have done to them by James Potter. Regulus always forced his mouth closed when he heard those things. It wasn't even because of jealousy.

No, it was because James' personality was so much more than his body. James lit up every room he was in. James could change the worst of Regulus' moods. James had the power to steal Regulus' breath by merely looking at him. James was more than his quidditch-built body. James' eyes could break off every thought running through Regulus' mind. James' skin seemed to radiate. James' touch was careful; it was cautious. He touched Regulus with so much caution that Regulus couldn't imagine being treated the way those girls longed to be. Regulus couldn't imagine James being okay with treating Regulus like that even if Regulus begged to be. James touched Regulus like he was made of the most priceless gold.

Regulus never longed to get sexual with James. He never thought that was weird. Regulus never thought it was necessary. Regulus loved the kisses shared between them. He loved being held throughout the night. Regulus didn't think their lack of sex was anything weird. He was quite okay if James never touched him in that way, and he thought that that was how most people felt.

He laughed as Sirius' neck was constantly covered in hickeys. He would throw jokes at Remus, and he would watch as Remus' face flushed. Regulus thought it made sense, how sexual his brother's relationship was with Remus. His brother was very different from him, so he never thought it was weird that Sirius wanted something that he never desired.

As Regulus and James kissed late one night, things began heating up, and Regulus wasn't sure what was happening. James was pulling at his clothes, and they were kissing feverishly. Regulus complied, not exactly sure he wanted to. He ran hands up James body because he liked feeling James so close to him. He felt James' hands run across his stomach. Regulus didn't realize what was happening until James was leaving a trial of kisses down his stomach. He froze, not knowing how to react.

He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to have sex. He loved James, however hesitant he was to say that, he really did. He didn't know how to tell James his thoughts in the moment. He didn't know how to say he didn't want to do this. He didn't know why he didn't want to do this because he loved James. Regulus should be okay with this; this was what couples did. Regulus gasped as he felt James begin to pull at his boxers.

Regulus immediately brought his legs up, and he stopped James' hands with his own. "Stop!" Regulus cried. He didn't realize exactly what he had said until James frantically met his eye.

"What?" James looked panicked. James was off Regulus second after he had opened his mouth. James' hands left him instantly. "Did I do something?" Without waiting for a reply, James continued, "I'm sorry, Reg." James looked as if tears were beginning to gather in his eyes, and Regulus felt so bad.

"James, no, James, you didn't do anything. I'm sorry-"

"Don't say sorry, you did noth-" James tried to cut Regulus off, but Regulus continued on.

"I didn't realize you wanted- wanted to have sex. Um, I guess I thought you were okay with the fact we didn't do anything like that. I thought that was normal, not having, you know. Well, I- I don't think I want to anyway." Regulus' voice was small because the more he talked the more outlandish his words seemed. Of course James wanted to have sex. Every couple does, of course they do. That's what made couples, well couples. Regulus didn't look for James' reaction. "That was stupid to think, I'm sorry. I don't know why I didn't realize-" Regulus was cut off by James making a noise similar to being hurt. Regulus' eyes shot up to see if James was okay.

"Oh my- Reg, oh, I'm so sorry, Love. I should've asked you about it. You're not stupid, Reg. Nothing you said was stupid. We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I didn't realize you didn't like sex. Love, I wish you would've told me. I wouldn't have tried anything. It's okay not to want that stuff, I promise." The way that James had said that. The way his voice was so caring, and the way James had placed his hand on Regulus' cheek. He broke. Regulus felt tears fall from his eyes. He knew it was weird, to not want to have sex. He realized, now, that it wasn't normal. Even then, even though he just admitted that to James, he still touched him the same. James wasn't weirded out. James didn't think it was annoying. Regulus felt James wrap his arms around his waist, and Regulus relaxed into his lover's arms. He felt James press his head into his neck and press a soft kiss to his collarbone. He smiled through tears, and he tangled his hands into James' already messy hair. Regulus relaxed so much that he didn't think of censoring himself.

"I love you," Regulus whispered before freezing. He felt James freeze as well. Regulus had never told James that. James told Regulus it so much, but Regulus had never said it back. "I-" To Regulus' horrific surprise, James squealed. James actually squealed, like a little girl getting her favorite toy for Christmas.

"Oh, Regulus, oh my- you just- Regulus!" James smiled up at Regulus with the biggest grin Regulus had ever seen. James' whole face was lit up. "Oh, I love you too! I love you so much, Reggie. I'm so proud of you. You just said that. You told me you loved me! I'm so happy- I love you!"

Regulus realized that they may be lacking a sexual relationship that other couples had, but he realized in that moment, that that didn't really effect James. He saw the smile that took up James' whole face, and he knew that to James, this was better than sex. Hearing those words from Regulus, meant more than anything, and Regulus knew that. Regulus knew that he would say them so many more times to see that smile on James' face again.

Regulus started squirming abruptly, taken out of his thoughts. Laughter poured out of his mouth as James had begun attacking his sides. "James!" Regulus tried kicking his lover, without real intent. "James! Stop, James!" Regulus tried pushing James away, all while laughter caught in his throat. Regulus saw a triumphant smile on James' face.

"Never."