Lost in Hollywood

Love in the Dark

we need to talk
monday? after school?

Cody's heart grew heavy as he read that message for the thousandth time, before shoving the phone back into the pocket of his jeans.

We need to talk.

It wasn't like he didn't know what that meant. Sky wanted to break up, she wanted to end things with him, she didn't want him anymore. That thought filled him with dark fear and despair, it crushed his chest so that he could barely breathe.

He stood near the front doors of the school, gripping the straps of his backpack with a nervous, white-knuckle grip, his foot tapping the ground in a restless beat. It was early morning, and he had been here for half an hour already, not to miss Sky when she arrived. After school, she had said, but fuck that, he couldn't wait that long. To live with this fear and uncertainty for even an hour more - it was impossible. It would fucking kill him, he would be dead by the afternoon. If she was going to rip his heart out of his chest, better have it done now, as fast as possible.

Thoughts about all the things he had fucked up, kept running through his mind. No wonder Sky wanted to dump him— He had been such a jerk, he didn't know how to love, to be loved. From that first night, when she had walked into his life in her pink hoodie and ripped jeans, tears on her cheeks— he had acted like an asshole. Telling her to kneel. Wanting to do unspeakable things to her, just because he could, just because she was broken and helpless—

Well, the circle was full now. It wasn't Sky anymore who was broken and helpless, it was him. He was at her mercy, and she could do any unspeakable thing she wanted to do to him, and he would still grovel in her feet, begging for her love.

Pathetic.

He swallowed hard, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he leaned his back against the wall. His friends were right, he wasn't the guy he had been, he was someone else, every fiber of his being had been transformed during these past couple of months. But unlike they thought, he hadn't lost himself in all this - he had found himself. He did have a heart, unlike he had believed, and now that heart was breaking in his chest, radiating pain throughout his body, all the way to his aching fingertips.

And yet - he still had hope.

He had never been a quitter, and he wasn't about to start now.

It had been a fight, sure, ugly and raw and unnecessary, they had both said things that shouldn't have been said, but— but all couples fought, right? It didn't necessarily mean they were done. People fought all the time and then made up. Maybe Sky didn't want to break up, maybe she just wanted to talk?

Maybe I can still fix this. I have to. I can't just let her go— if I lose her, I have nothing.

Sky was late to arrive, as always. The yard was already full of kids when he finally spotted her in the crowd. Her copper hair was like a flame, impossible not to notice in the sea of black, blond, and brown heads as she walked through the parking lot toward the front doors. But unlike the night she had walked into Cody's life, her clothes were now all black - they had been since Luke died - black jeans, a black hoodie that was way too big for her. The only color in her outfit was her pink Converse high tops, their tips barely visible under the cuffs of her jeans.

Cody's heart thumped painfully in his chest at the sight of her. The love he had for her was an ache in his bones, the hope like a tight band around his lungs.

"Sky," he called her name, and she looked up, her eyes widened and her face went pale. She stopped on her feet, hesitated - and that hesitation almost killed Cody where he stood. The look on her face carved his heart out of his chest.