Lost in Hollywood

Silver Lining

"They are up to something," Eli said to Demetri under his breath, leaning closer to him over the table. "I fucking know it."

They were in the library, trying to study for the upcoming physics test, but it was extremely difficult, partly because Eli hadn't even opened his book yet, partly because he had a clear view of the group of girls - Sky, Devon, Sam and Yasmine - who were sitting at a table in the other side of the room. They had captivated his attention, making it impossible to start studying, but Demetri seemed to be making good progress. His physics book, the notebook, and a pile of papers were scattered all over the table as he was trying to make sense of his notes. He was clearly annoyed to be interrupted, which was ridiculous, really, because he was always the one interrupting others.

"It's probably just some girl stuff," Demetri said, glancing toward the group of girls who  were having a deep, hushed conversation.

"What kind of girl stuff?" Eli frowned. "What does that even mean?"

Demetri shrugged. "I don't know. The prom maybe?"

"Can't be. Yasmine and Devon aren't even gonna go," Eli said, keeping his eyes on the girls. They all looked dead serious, their conversation seemed urgent, private. He was sure they weren't talking about the prom. Wouldn't that have been a happy conversation? Didn't girls like shoes and dresses and stuff like that? This looked more like they were planning on assassinating someone.

"So what?" Demetri asked, throwing another annoyed glance at Eli. "Doesn't mean they can't talk about it. Yasmine's been going on and on about the dresses and the shoes she would want to wear for the prom, and the ones she's going to wear at her dad's wedding— It's a never-ending story, apparently. You'd be surprised."

Eli shrugged, not totally convinced, but forced himself to draw his eyes off the girls.

The prom.

That word tasted like crap on his tongue, as he rolled it back and forth, before swallowing it down.

He didn't even want to think about the fucking prom. He'd had so many hopes and dreams about that night, about going with Sky, how happy she would be, how pretty, but now— He swallowed hard, but the bad taste still lingered in his mouth. Everything was ruined. All his dreams had gone down the gutter the moment Kyler had shaved his head. Sky wouldn't even look at him anymore, they were barely talking. There was no fucking way she'd go to the prom with a pathetic loser like him, so there was no point to even ask.

And the worst part was that he knew he was the one to blame. He was the one who had ruined things between them. He hadn't been able to protect Sky, and the memory of his utter failure ate at his heart like a maggot, leaving behind rotting, aching holes. The only thing he could think of that would fix things, was if he fuckign killed Kyler Park—

A brief memory of Cody standing over Kyler, a gun in his hand, blood dripping from his knuckles, flashed through Eli's aching chest. His voice, broken, sharp like shattered glass. "Enough. I was here first. I get to do this."

I should've let him do it. I should've fucking helped him. We should've killed that asshole and dumped him into a ditch and none of this shit would have ever happened.

The bitterness, and the rage he felt were overwhelming. The regret. They were a weight of a thousand tons on his chest, too heavy for him to shake off. Kyler had taken everything from him, and what was he going to do about it?

Nothing. Not a fucking thing.

He knew he wasn't man enough to finish what Cody had started. He was a loser. A fucking failure. If he tried to fight Kyler, he would lose, he would only humiliate himself. Kyler was the fucking king of this school, and who was he? Nobody. Nothing. Just the kid with the weird lip.