Lost in Hollywood

How to Make Friends With the Dark

"Tom, wait—" Sky called, trying to catch up with the boy who was already disappearing around the corner. She muttered a silent curse - her stupid leg was still a huge problem. Even Tom, who was by no means athletic, was faster than her.

She managed a couple of running steps and called his name again, and finally, hearing her voice he turned to look over his shoulder. A sigh left his lip and his shoulders slumped, as if he wasn't that pleased to see her.

"Sky—" he stopped walking and waited for her to catch up with him. "What do you want?"

The hint of annoyance in his voice made Sky's chest turn heavy. But what had she expected? The look in Tom's eyes, when he had walked into Hawk, made her heart twist.

"I just— I wanted to—"

"Save it," He sighed, pushing his hands into the pockets of his loose jeans. "I'm sorry I ruined the cute moment you were having with your boyfriend. It's just— I don't blame you for what happened to Cody. But I do blame him."

Sky looked down, her cheeks heated in shame. The sadness that was rippling off Tom in waves made Sky unstable on her feet.

"I just don't get it," Tom said, after a short, uncomfortable silence. "I know you cared about Cody. A lot. How can you even stand to be near that guy? After all the things he did? Beating Cody up with his friends, leaving him on the bathroom floor—"

"He's not— that guy anymore." Sky breathed, her voice almost failing her. Even if it was the truth, the words sounded empty, hollow. "He's trying to change."

"Do people ever really change?" Tom replied bitterly, and then shook his head running a hand through his overgrown, sandy-colored hair as if to shake off the thoughts that were getting too heavy. "Whatever. It's none of my business. Date whoever you want to date, nothing's gonna change what happened. Nothing's going to bring Cody back."

Sky wanted to say that she wasn't dating Hawk, at least not yet, not officially. That they had only been talking— but those were semantics. Everyone knew she had cheated on Cody with Hawk, that she had chosen Hawk over Cody, had broken Cody's heart. She had found a new pile of notes in her locker only moments ago, written on paper with blood-red ink, calling her a whore, a slut, a murderer. Everyone thought that about her, so why shouldn't Tom too?

"How are you holding up? Are you getting any sleep?" she asked instead, to get something else to think about than her massive failures in every aspect of her life.

Tom shrugged and turned his eyes away. "Not much. You?"

"Same."

"Bad dreams?" Tom asked, maybe noticing the shadows under her eyes, the signs of sleepless nights she had tried to hide under concealer and foundation.

"Yeah."

The truth was that she hadn't really slept in weeks. First Luke's death and then Cody's—- Nights were now her personal battleground, endless hours of dark shadows in the corners of her room, within her heart. Sleeping was something that other people did - people who weren't drowning in regrets and sorrows. The only time she had been able to sleep throughout the night was the time she'd gotten the opiate injection from the doctor and then dreamt about Kat. But there were no more opiates, so there was no more sleeping, no more hiding from the truth that stared her right in the eye at 3 am, in the darkness of her room, calling her all the same things as the notes left in her locker, and worse. Rare were the nights when Sky managed to fall asleep, and on those nights, there were always nightmares.

She didn't want to talk about the nightmares.

"Did you hear they hired a new school counselor?"

Sky shook her head, brushing her hair behind the ear. "No.."