Lost in Hollywood

Just Eli

Going back to the dojo without his mohawk, was one of the hardest things Eli had ever done.

And yet—

It was the only place he could think about going to, after leaving Sky in the hospital. He couldn't go home, he couldn't face Mom, not yet. She would cry and she would make a fuss and he knew she meant well, but he just couldn't take that now, not as long as everything in him was an open, raw wound. Her tears and her shock would make him feel a thousand times worse and the fragile threads that were keeping him together would snap. He would fall apart. He couldn't go home until he could at least look Mom in the eye and lie to her face that he was fine, fine, just fine, that this wasn't a big deal.

Fine. Right. As if he would ever be fine again after tonight.

His hair was gone, and with that his soul, his heart, everything that had made him what he was. But what really killed him, was the way he had failed Sky, failed her when she had needed him the most. Seeing Kyler torture her, hearing her panicked cries and pleas, being unable to do anything to stop it—

He couldn't take it. It was unbearable.

She had been so fucking scared, and he knew why, he knew Kyler scared her the same way Matt had. That when Kyler shoved his hand under her skirt and—

—and Eli didn't even want to think about what Kyler had done, how he had touched her. But it must have been bad, because afterward, Sky had cried, huge, silent tears, wrapping her arms around her body like she was scared her insides would fall out if she let go. And— what hurt the most - she had pushed him away when he had tried to touch her.

It made him feel like there was a cold stone in his stomach, sucking out his will to live.

Sky had been forced to relive one of her worst nightmares in that room. And what had he done?

Nothing.

He hadn't been able to protect her in any way. He could never look her in the eye again. She would never want him to, not after this.

Should've been just me in there. Sky wouldn't have even been there, had I not asked her to go with me. She trusted she would be safe with me, and I fucking failed her. It's my fault, all of it.

Eli stopped at the entrance of Miyagi-Do, resting his hand on top of the gate for a couple of heartbeats. The night was dark but warm, the parking lot was full of cars, he heard voices, sounds of combat, and excited shouts. Suddenly he remembered this was the night the senseis were going to have their death match, of which he had been so fucking excited. Now it felt pointless, stupid even. What did any of that matter now? He wasn't even sure he would continue Karate after this. He wasn't Hawk anymore, just Eli, and Eli was a pathetic pussy. He didn't even deserve to be here without his hair. God, what was he even going to say to them, to his friends, to his Senseis?

More than anything, he wished he weren't alone, that Sky could have come with him. He wished she were here, taking his hand, so they could have walked in together. She would have looked at him, love in her eyes, and told him it was all going to be okay—

But he was fucking kidding himself. Nothing was ever going to be okay again. Sky would never take his hand again. She would never trust him again and for a reason. The kiss they had shared in front of the tattoo parlor was the last kiss he would ever get from her and what had just begun to grow between them, was over before it had even truly started.

That thought was more painful than anything that had happened tonight. Losing his hair was one thing, but losing Sky was a dagger to his heart.

He had been about to ask her to the prom. And there had been such light in her eyes, a hesitant smile in the corner of her mouth, She had been about to say yes, but now—