word count: 828
You've been dating the notorious Sirius Black for two years. Sure, he's cocky and doesn't know how to take anything seriously, but you love him. The last two years have been some of the best years of your life.
James introduced you in your third year and you and Sirius became fast friends. By fourth year, you were inseparable and dating. Remus always teased you about how Sirius' arm never left your waist, but you knew he approved.
But lately, you've been wondering if that's coming to an end. He's been having jealous outbursts, giving you silent treatments, skipping meals, and giving snappy replies. His arm, which used to lovingly grip you waist, is no longer there. Only the ghost of the warmth remains. And you wonder if you'll ever feel it again.
You sit in the dining hall, looking around for your boyfriend. You sigh and start to eat. Another no show. Of course.
"Hey, (Y/N/N), are you alright?" James asks. You shrug while pushing the food around.
"No, but I will be." He sighs and puts his arm around you, giving you a side-hug.
"Is it Sirius?" You nod, barely holding back tears. He turns you to him and wipes your tears. "Hey, hey, don't cry. It's okay. Things will blow over, okay? You guys will go back to being the most disgustingly beautiful couple Hogwarts has ever known." You smile softly and nod.
"Thanks, James. You always know what to say. You're a great friend." He smirks and adjusts his glasses.
"Oh, I know." You laugh when someone flicks mashed potatoes at his face and they smear all over his glasses. "Bloody hell, guys!" James shouts. You snort and take out your wand.
"Chill. Nothing magic can't fix. Scourgify." You wave your hand and the mashed potatoes clean themselves up. He grins at you.
"Thanks, (Y/N/N)." You put your wand away and look toward the entrance to the hall. There, watching you and James with an angry expression, is Sirius. Your heart sinks and you stand up to go talk to him, but he turns and hurries off. You look at James' confused expression.
"I'll see you in Divination, yeah?" you say, gathering your stuff.
"Okay. Let me know how it goes."
"Will do. See you." You rush out of the dining hall and in the direction Sirius went. You spot him walking into the courtyard. "Sirius!" you shout. A soft wind blows through the trees, giving a façade of calm. He stops but doesn't turn around. You catch up and put your hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" you ask. He turns to you, his face stiff with barely contained anger.
"So we have relationship problems and you decide to throw yourself at James? Pathetic," he hisses. You take a step back before righting yourself.
"I wasn't throwing myself at him, Sirius. He's a friend. We were friends long before he introduced me to you, but we were never anything more. I see him as a brother, Sirius." He shakes his head and laughs humorlessly.
"That's what they all say." You take deep breaths so you don't explode, but he's really pushing it.
"You know what Sirius? I can't do this anymore. You're getting jealous over your best friend. Your best friend, who you know would never do anything with me because you and I are together. And you don't even trust me around our friends. You see every smile, every laugh as an invitation for someone to get into my pants. But guess what? I'm done. I've tried to be patient. I've tried to get you to understand that I love you and only you, but there's only so much I can take." Sirius stands there, looking down at you in shock. You step back and turn to walk back into the school when he grabs your wrist gently.
"(Y/N), I'm so sorry. Please, let me—" You wrench your wrist out of his grasp and shake your head.
"No, Sirius. This was the last straw. No more apologies or empty 'I love you's.' No more." The tears in his eyes surprise you and as much as you want to pull him into a hug and wipe away his pain, you can't. You won't.
"Please. I can't do any of this without you," he whimpers. Your heart tears in two but you hang onto the pain he's caused you.
"You can and you will. Maybe someday we can start over. But right now the wound is still raw and it's not going to do any good poking at it. Goodbye, Sirius."
And with that, you walk away, aware of Sirius' eyes on your retreating figure.
✧ ✦ ✧
You are broken on the floor
And you're crying, crying
He has does this all before
And you're lying, lying to yourself
— Broken by Isak Danielson —
