Mattheo Riddle - Born to die

Chapter 37: A part of him

It's the next day. Michelle is still exhausted. She can't believe that Voldemort really kidnapped her to hurt Mattheo. To make him join his side. But he was strong, and he saved her. Michelle is also concerned about Snape. On which side does he stand? And why did he help them,is he ok? When she wakes up, she lets Mattheo sleep and decides to search for Snape. She finds out that he is in the hospital wing.

Mattheo wakes up and looks around in the room. He wakes up slowly and stretches. He takes a look at his bed, and Michelle is not there. He sits up and looks around the room to see if he can see her anywhere, but there is no sign of her. He grabs his shirt and his jeans and is about to put it on when he notices a page on the floor. He picks it up to see what it is, and he reads.
“Matt, I’m at the hospital to see Snape. He saved us, so I wanted to see if he is Ok”

Michelle comes to the hospital wing and sees Snape. He has bruises in his face and looks exhausted. "Professor..." She says while sitting down next to him."I wanted to.. say thank you for rescuing me and... what happened after we left?"
Snape is sitting on a chair with his eyes closed. His face is full of bruises, and he is breathing deeply. He looks exhausted. Snape opens his eyes and looks up at Michelle. He is thinking for a moment and then gets an image in his head, a flashback. He nods in confirmation and looks at her. He is still breathing heavily and trying to gain some strength.
"He was furious when he realised that I let you go." he says this while he looks at her, and his expression seems to show fear.
"So he punished you?" she looks to the ground."I am so sorry. It's my fault."
Snape shakes his head when he hears that. He seems a bit shocked.
"No. Never say that it was your fault, because that is not true. I am fine, it doesn’t matter." his eyes are filled with exhaustion and guilt. He pauses.
"I have something to tell you. I don’t know how to say this but… well… you know he wants Mattheo to join him." Snape says this while he looks at her with a serious and worried expression.
"I know. He kidnapped me to use me against him.. but what can I do now?"
Snape thinks for a moment and rubs the back of his head.
"I don’t know, there is nothing you can do." He sounds a bit defeated and like he is about to give up.
He looks up at her and tries to smile.
"Just make sure that you stay close to Mattheo." he tries to be encouraging but sounds more like as if he is warning her.
"I have to ask a question now, Professor.. Voldemort he said you were always loyal to him.. on which side are you?" She looks at him scared.
Snape pauses for a moment and closes his eyes before talking to her.
"You see… I am a true Slytherin. I am loyal to my house and to my people. The House of Slytherin." he pauses to look at her, and then he looks down. He seems worried and guilty.
"Voldemort can’t be trusted. I am not loyal to him… he is a madman, and he wants only power and to rule over others.
You see… I am on the good side." Snape’s eyes meet with Michelle’s
She nods. "But.. does he know? Is it still a secret?"
"It is." Snape pauses and looks back at Michelle.
"Voldemort would kill me on the spot if he found out the truth. It will remain as a secret, no one can know."
he looks at her with a worried look.
"You know this is very serious. You can not tell anyone, do you understand?" He says again.
She shakes her head. "No one will know."
"Good." Snape sighs, and his head leans back as he closes his eyes to gain strength.
"Now you understand why I helped you and Mattheo. I know that Mattheo doesn’t trust me."
Snape looks at her with an expression that says “there are so much more to tell you, but I can’t right now” and he seems quite anxious and nervous. He is waiting for her to say something.
"But Mattheo knows that you rescued us. That's all that matters, Thank you again.

"Is there anything we should now, Professor?"
"Well… I think there is something that you need to know. It may sound a bit… difficult to understand." he looks at her again. His eyes are filled with guilt and concern, and he is thinking twice before he says it.
Snape takes a breath and pauses before talking, "You see… Voldemort… he wants me to make Mattheo drink a potion so he can control his mind and make him loyal to him." he pauses for a moment and looks at Michelle with a serious and worried expression.
She looks at him shocked. "You won't do this, do you? Voldemort tries to control Mattheo every night in his dreams, but he fights it.."
"Yes, I won’t do it." His voice is firm, and there is a little bit of anger in his tone.
"But my fear is that he (Voldemort) might find another way to do it." Snape takes a deep breath. It is clear that he doesn’t want to scare Michelle, but he has to give her a warning.
"You must be careful around him." Snape pauses for a minute and looks at her. His tone and the way he looks at her say something that he is not saying out loud.
"We have to destroy the Horcrux in Mattheo." Michelle answers.

Snape’s expression changes as he listens to her.
'Yes, that is true. But it is not that simple." He pauses for a moment and looks at her.
"The piece of Voldemort’s soul is inside of him, so if the Horcrux is destroyed, Mattheo will also die." He sighs softly while he looks at her, thinking. There is something that he wants to say about this situation, but he can’t. If Mattheo knew that his life was at risk, he would probably freak out.
She nods because she knows, "But I will find another way.. "
Snape looks at her and raises one brow.
"You think that you can find another way around it?" he says this while he looks at her with a suspicious expression. He doesn’t seem too convinced.
"I have too. I can't let him win." her face changes in a determined expression.
"I like your way of thinking." Snape looks at her with a sincere smile. He sees that she is worried for Mattheo and that he can understand why she is, since she is in love with him. He once loved it, too.

He looks around the room before he talks again. "I should tell you something…" he looks serious and yet a little bit worried.
"What you have to tell me?"
Snape is nervous, and it is very obvious. He seems to be considering his words carefully, and he is wondering if this is a good idea.

"You know, i don’t want to scare you but… Mattheo’s nightmares are not normal. He is fighting off Voldemort, yes, but he is also fighting a part of himself." Snape seems worried, and he really doesn’t want to tell Michelle this, but he is also thinking that she needs to know.
"What do you mean by that, Professor?"
Snape looks at her, and he pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts
"Let me put it this way. He is not only fighting Voldemort…
He is fighting a part of himself. What Voldemort is telling him to do is something that he also wants, at least a part of him."
he pauses to think again. There is more to say, but he thinks that maybe he is already saying too much, and he doesn’t want to scare Michelle.
She nods. "A part of him wants to join him..
I have to talk to him now. I owe you my life, Professor."
She nods at him and leaves the hospital wing.
Snape looks after her with a worried expression. He knows that she is walking into something difficult, but he knows that he has to trust her and Mattheo enough for this to turn out well. He exhales deeply and looks at the ceiling.
"Good luck, Ms Black"