Barrels of Love and Dream

11. Kaira's past

Next Morning,

Kaira came in her car to Singhania Sadan. Krish was already outside, waiting for her. She picked him up and drove straight to the orphanage. Krish could sense something was wrong, but chose to let Kaira have her own space. However, he couldn't hold it back when he saw the route she took.

Krish: Tu phir wahan kyun jaa rahi hai bro?

Kaira: Because I want to do it. Wahan mujhe ek ehsas milta hai jo mujhe kahin aur nahi milta.

Krish: I am with you bro

Kaira : Thank you buddy.

After 10 mins, the car stopped before an orphanage. Krish looked at Kaira who was still scratching the steering and looking at the name board. Krish knew what she was going through, so he got out from the car and took the gifts and other items in his right hand. Then with his left hand, he opened the door of the car for Kaira.

Krish: Bro, jab uss ehsas ko mehsoos karne ka soch hi liya hai, tab phir darna kis baat ka.

Kaira(getting out of the car) Darr nahi rahi Krish. Bas soch rahi hoo kaash kabhi yahan se gayi hi nahi hoti.

Saying this Kaira went till the orphanage's gate and called the manager. She handed all the items and gifts to the manager and then took from him a pouch full of soil. She then went across to the road to a garden and sat on a bench. Krish who had been looking at all these for a while sat beside her.

Krish: Yaar ab ki baar mujhe laga tha ki tu andar jaayegi. Bro jab yahan tak aati hai toh andar kyun nahi jaati?

Kaira: Andar jaane ki wajah hi andar nahi rahi.

Krish: kya? Bacche toh hai andar.

Kaira: Par in bacchon mein koi bhi woh nahi.

Krish: Dekh bro, aaj tujhe batana hi padega ki yeh woh kaun hai? Aisa kaun hai jiske ehsaas ke liye yahan tak aati hai, par har baar bas yahi se laut jaati hai . Baaki saari orphanages mein tu baccho ke saath pura din spend kar leti hai. Par yahan?

Kaira: Yahan nahi jaa paati. Himmat hi nahi hoti yaar.

Krish: Kyun? Yaa toh aaj tu mujhe kyun ka jawab de, yah toh main kahin nahi jaa raha.

Kaira: Aaj jawab dungi Krish. K&K ke launch se pehle tujhe tere saare sawalon ka jawab milega. Pata hai uss K&K ka kya chakkar hai?

Krish: K for Kaira, aur dursa K for all the K's for family ke K's.

Kaira: Nahi. K for Krishna, and K for Khadoos.

Krish: Krishna toh tera naam tha. Par yeh khadoos kaun hai?

Kaira: Woh insaan jisne mujhe aanath hote hue bhi pura parivaar de diya. Woh hi mera parivaar ban gaya. Meri maa, mere papa, mera dost , mera soulmate, sab woh tha, mera khadoos.

Krish: What?! bro par jab woh itna special tha, toh ab kahan hai?

Kaira: ( with a heavy voice and tear filled eyes ) Pa....taa... pata nahi.

Krish: (taking her into a side hug) mujhe Please sab kuch batade bro.

Kaira: Panch saal ke the hum dono jab ek dusre se mile the. Usne apne mummy papa ko ek accident mein kho diya tha, aur maine toh kabhi mummy papa ka pyar experience hi nahi kiya tha. Pehle din jab woh aaya, uska naam kisi ko nahi pta tha. Par bahut khicha khicha rehta tha. Main uske paas gayi aur boli, ai tum mere dost banoge? Yahan sab mujhse bade ya chote hai, tum ekdam mere jaise ho. Usne mujhe bola tha, mujhe akela chod do. Main bahut gussa hui thi, maine use bola. Kaise khadoos ho tum. Arey meri jaisi friend kahin nahi milegi. Usne mujhe bola tha, kyun , tum yahan ki Rani Sahiba ho? Uss din ke baad se humne ek hafte tak baat nahi ki. Par humesha main ball uski taraf phenk deti. Aur woh kick karke usse meri taraf phenkta. Mujhe usse chidane mein jitna maza aata, woh utna hi chidta. Sacchi ka khadoos tha woh. Main bhi bahut zor se ball kick karti. Ek hafte baad maine dekha, ki woh ball ko kick karne utha par phir niche gir gaya. Uske pair mein moch aa gayi thi. Uss din pehli baar maine uski aankhon mein aasu dekhe. Uske muhhh se bas ek hi word nikla, I miss you mumma. Mujhse raha hi nahi gaya, maine usse jaake hug kar liya aur bola, tum jitne bhi khadoos ban jao, main tumhe akela nahi chodungi. Aaj bhi yaad hai, aansu bhadi aankhon se usne mujhe dekha tha, aur pucha tha, tum meri chot theek kar dogi? Maine bola tha haan, kar dungi. Phir maine usse spray lagaya tha, aur phir dono ne milke zameen ko mara tha. Phir hum friends ban gaye. Hum ek saath khelte, shararat karte , khate, pite. Sab bacchon ke pass unka apna teddy bear tha, par hume kabhi zaroorat hi nahi padi. Hum ek dusre ke teddy bears the. Dekhte hi dekhte uski aadat aisi padi, ki uske bina kuch nahi kar paati thi main. Agar mujhe bukhaar aata, toh maa ke jaise woh mera khyaal rakhta, main agar kuch gadbad karti, toh papa ke jaise mujhe defend karke sab sahi kar deta. Dost ki tarah mujhse ladta, mere saath khelta. Uske aane se pehle main aanath thi, par usne mujhe pura parivaar de diya. Uska naam Karan tha, par main usse khadoos bulati. Usne bhi kabhi mujhe Krishna nahi bulaya. Humesha mujhey woh Rani Sahiba bulata. Bacchon ko badon ka lad pyaar bigadta hai, par uske pamperings ne mujhe bigaad diya tha. Pure orphanage mein humare friendship ke charche the. Ek baar mujhe ek family adopt karne aayi, bahut paise de rahi thi, par main bahut roi. Usse alag hona chahti hi nahi thi main. Anath hoke hi sahi, par woh mere pass tha. Uske baad, kisine mujhe usse alag karne ki koshish nahi ki. Jaise jaise bade hote gaye, waise waise hum aur close ho gaye. Jab mujhe mere periods aaye the na, mujhse zyada woh darr gaya tha. Orphanage mein hum girls ko sanitary napkins diye jaate the, aur sab bataya bhi jaata tha, par mere saath saath usne bhi sab sikha. Mujhe hot water bag dena, mujhe sulana, mera gussa, meri demands sab has ke bardasht karta. Ekdam nariyal jaisa tha woh, mere liye bahar se bahut sakht, par mere saath andar se utna hi naram. Humne toh socha tha ki bade hoke humari apni ek family hogi. Hum toh mann mein ekdusre ke saath puri life set kar chuke the. Usse aur mujhe bachpan se jewellery ka bahut sauk tha. Yeh K&K humara sapna tha. Krishna and Khadoos. Par shayad humara saath bas ussi din tak tha. Uss din, usse bahut tej bukhaar tha. Aur uske hisse ka kaam mujhe karna tha. Humare wahan rule tha, ki hum apni handmade cheeze streets pe bechenge , aur uss paise se apne liye kuch kharid lenge. Main uss din, signal pe wahi kar rahi thi, jab......ja...bb....