The Stepbrother's Girl

Chapter 23:: Awakening

::Blake's POV::

I wake up to find myself alone. My chest tightens as I begin to feel angry and sad. She left. Of course she did, but she probably has things to do. I sit up from the bed as I notice a muffin and a note on the bed side table. I grab them both as I open the note.

I had to go do some things for Nani this morning I got my bike I put the key back on the kitchen table thanks for being there for me last night, Catalina.

I smile as I push the anger away and is now replaced with contempt. I'm just glad she feels better. I know that I'm only on the second day but something in me is telling me to go today too. I get out of bed and eat the muffin she left me and take a quick shower. I put on a tee shirt that's just plain white and black ripped jeans. I brush my hair and teeth as I check my phone for and texts or calls.

1 missed call from Dad
1 text from Levi

I decide to open Levi's message even though I felt I shouldn't...

Levi: Aria loves us both we should let her choose, I already lost my mom I can't lose my brother too.

My eyes tear up as I put my phone down. Levi always has a way of saying things to make you feel sorry for him I lost her too you bastard and now you're trying to take my girl. I try to push the thoughts away as I start to type a text to my dad.

Blake: I'm okay dad, thanks.

I press send as I decide to leave Levi on read. I love him I really do but he doesn't deserve the right to take what's mine. I wonder what she's doing right now, hell I wonder if she's okay...

I start my way to the jeep as I get in and light my cigarette as usual and begin my way to the turtle habitat. Something is pushing me this way and I just chose to follow it. I put the radio on as oldies play as I disassociate from reality and think about last night. How her body felt against mine. How her hair smelt or how her eyes light up and her smile. I pull into the habitat as I pull in and park in the back.

I get out as I make my way to the front door. I'm just happy I'm not drowning myself in liquor because I'm famous for that I'm surprised I'm not... like I said I feel as if I'm changing. I open the door as I'm greeted with Catalina and miss Freya. She did say she was helping her today... I feel like I'm stalking her, she probably feels like I'm stalking her.

"Blake?" She says surprised as her eyes light up as she sees me.
"What are the odds! I was just about to call you! We need a spot today because one of our volunteers called in sick... and today is beach clean up." She claps as her Nani gives her a cheeky laugh.
"You two act like you've known each other forever." Freya says. You're telling me, I think to myself.
"Of course I will, I came to offer any help you needed." I reply.

******

We arrive at the beach in this big van me Catalina, and a couple other people in the back. Miss Freya, of course driving. I step out of the van as I realize it's my first time at the beach with someone really since I got here. And here we are picking up trash.

It's good for the environment to clean up trash so I don't mind, just not what I pictured my beach vacation would be like. I pictured a lot in my life and I'm slowly beginning to realize that nothing happens if I don't do something about it.

Catalina's voice brings me out my thoughts.
"Blake's gonna be with me on the eastern side and Joseph and Zee you can both do the west side, we'll meet back up in about an hour then we'll move on to the second spot."  When she bosses people around it's kind of sexy...

She paired herself with me. My heart begins to race as I realize I'll be spending the next hour alone with her and I know I've already spent time with her but every time I feel like it's the first time. It's weird.

The two called Joseph and Zee agree tot he terms as we get our equipment out from the van that we'll need. She hands me a scooper, a trash bag, and a vest. She smiles as she slips her vest over her tank top and watches me put mine on.

"Alright guys, one hour!" She says as she waves the others off and begins towards the eastern part of the beach guiding me along the way. I love how she's from here and this is home to here, as to where I'm from it's just a lot different. We grew up so differently yet I feel as if we have similar experiences.

I watch her as she walks as I always do, don't say I'm a creep she... I can't explain it. She catches my attention always is all. She breaks my gaze as she whips around to me and smiles from ear to ear with a devious look in her eyes. She just giggles as she curls her hands up and covers her giggle almost like an anime character.

"How much garbage are you going to pick up for me until you ask me on a date?" She says boldly. I haven't seen boldness like this... since my mom or Aria... I push that away as I clear my throat.
"Well... there's something about you. I keep finding myself with you, and I don't know how to feel about anything anymore, I feel lost." I say defeated.

I feel something for her but I also can't shake how I feel about Aria or hurting her.
"Now might now be the best time for me to date Catalina, I'm sorry." My heart stings as the choice I've made is already plain on her face.
"Oh yeah, no." She blows air through her mouth in relief as she continues, "You already told me you weren't interested, I'm sorry..."

Her words sting more as I realize she blames herself when it's not even her fault it's mine. I'm a mess and I brought her into it without even caring if I hurt her.  I can see the pain in her eyes as she turns back around and we continue to the beach and begin to pick up the trash.

I never meant to hurt her and I really wish I could just figure out what I want. My mind begins to plunder as I realize I'm crashing. I crashed when I ran out on Aria and left her at the condo. I call it "crashing" when my mental can't handle things and wants to be numbed.

I watch as she continues picking up trash as tears threaten to break. I need to be alone. I can't look at her right now I'm ashamed of how I've done her. I drop the trash bag and lift off the vest.
"I've got to go." I say as she looks back at me confused.
"What do you mean?" She says now in a panic almost.
"I have to be somewhere right now." I lie as I don't even look at her in the eyes and spin on my heels and walk away.

Why does this also feel so hard. She doesn't say anything nor does she try to stop me as I make my way off of the beach and towards the parking lot. I spot the van as I walk past it I walk right by miss Freya. Fuck. She looks at me with a surprised expression.

"Blake? Where's Lina? Done so soon?" She smiles.
I stop as I catch my breath from the dreadful walk of shame back.
"She's still on the beach I have a umm... an emergency and I have to go, I'll see you guys tomorrow. She chuckles as she looks at me and narrows her eyes.
"I see the anger in you, and you can't keep bottling it up, it'll always hurt you." Her words haunt me as I begin to quickly walk away from her and towards the sidewalk.

Who is she? And how does she know that? My mind races as I walk down the avenue and begin to lightly jog down the strip. I should be back at the condo by noon if I'm able to keep my pace. Maybe some discipline instead of a drink will help more... on that thought I pass by a small bar as I almost go in, I think of what miss Freya said.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing, it's not working. I keep running as my mind begins to run faster than my pace. Why am I so distraught over Catalina? And why can't I just let go of Aria... I have a lot to do in my mind and I'm not going to continue to let the people who love me down.