The Stepbrother's Girl

Chapter 26:: Blake's Goodbye

::Blake's POV:: *Suicide disclosure*

I wake up with Catalina in my arms and the sun shining through the windows. She's even beautiful sleeping. I just stare at her as my thoughts are drawn away from anything but her right now. The feeling of her in my arms are a peace I haven't experienced once in my life. With the thoughts running wild in my mind I drift back to sleep.

"Blake!" I wake up to a disheveled, disheartened Catalina. She almost looks like she could cry. As I begin to wake up and access the situation. I wipe my eyes and as I open them again I see her hand is holding up something. As I realize what she's holding, my heart begins to pound.

"It's actually super funny." She scoffs as she continues. "All men are alike in a way. You all lie to get what you want." She throws my phone on the bed next to me as she grabs her purse from the chair beside the bed as she turns around and begins to leave.

In a panicked frenzy I begin to chase after her.
"Catalina..." I begin as she stops and turns around as she places her hand up in a motion to stop me.
"Don't even. I read your messages... and I know it wasn't my place to do it, but I saw a message pop up from a guy named Levi about a girl, and the very next person on your messages was said girl. In a way I broke my own heart, but you had cause in it. Goodbye Blake, have a safe trip back home." With that she walks out the door and she's gone.

I fall to my knees in defeat as I cuff my face in my hands and begin to cry. I ruin everything that's good in my life and I can't stop it. I destroy everything I touch and I barely knew her but I know I've just caused her pain and it's all my fault. My heart heavy with regret I open up a bottle of Vodka from the cabinet as I begin to drown my troubles away. My mind shoots to Aria.

How can I even admit to her I've slept with someone else? How am I even suppose to admit to myself that it was only a one night stand and that I don't care about her? Fuck. I've fucked everything up with anyone I could have ever wanted. They both deserve better than me the whole world deserves better than me.

After some time has passed as I drown in self loathing, I notice it's almost time for me to pack and leave. I can't bear to face Catalina so... just another lose end that I can't muscle to tie up. Guilt overtakes me as I quickly pack my things into the jeep as I take one last look at the ocean. I start to reminisce about the baby turtles and how Catalina said that they would change my life... when in reality she truly changed my life.

My thoughts and heart can't dictate whether it's good or bad. I just feel different... still lost. I walk away from the house as I open the jeep door and dread to make my journey back to the hell hole of a home I reside in. Aria made it better but how am I suppose to even face her after what I've done?

I speed down the small road as I blast the radio trying to escape my thoughts. I drown into the music as the scenery of the beach slowly fades away and all that's left is highway. I've never felt more alone than I do now because I have no one to talk to about this, not Levi, not my dad... not Aria.

I can only blame myself for all of that anyways. My mind remembers that Catalina said she saw a message from Levi, and it becomes curious. Damn. I totally forgot about that part. I open the message.

Levi: You're the reason dad is going to be lonely and sad. The reason why our baby sister will grow up without parents that live together. You're selfish and all because you can't let go of Aria. She deserves better than you and she always will.

My heart begins to pound as I slam on my steering wheel. I fucking hate him. What I ever did to deserve such a hateful goddamn brother. I begin to cry as I throw my phone in the floor board as hard as I could. He's also right about a lot of things and it hurts even more.

My agonizing drive feels more like an eternity of hell in my own head. I finally arrive to my house as I see Levi's car parked outside along with my dads. I sit there for another twenty minutes before I get out and take another couple minutes looking at the house and taking deep breaths before I can even begin to walk in. My anxiety begins to take over me as I open the door of the jeep and grab a bottle of liquor and begin to down it.

I'll get my things out of the jeep later... maybe.
"Ay yo, Blake!" I hear from the sidewalk as I see Jesse standing there.
I nod at him as he begins to walk over to me.
"I got these just in." He says in a whispered tone as he pulls out a baggie from his jacket pocket.
"One-sixty for the whole bag. All I got left... I know you like to party." He says smirking.

In the state of mind I'm in, I indulge in his offer. As I pay him for the drugs he hands them to me and scurries back off down the street. I shove the bag in my pocket as I put the liquor bottle in my jacket pocket and walk up to the porch. I close my eyes as I prepare myself for the task of just getting to my room.

I breathe in as I heavily breathe back out as I twist the doorknob. I slowly open the door revealing my family... all of them in the kitchen and living room... happy. Being a family and making dinner and spending time with each other. Aria and her mom cooking my dad and Levi with my baby sister. My heart breaks as I realize Levi's words were true.

I am the reason my family is tearing apart. I'm the only one that can fix it...
As I walk in my whole family looks at me as their happy gazes turn into sad, almost scared ones. Even Aria. I can't even look at her face right now. I don't deserve to. I hurry to my room as I make it there and close and lock the door behind me.

Life would be easier if I weren't here. And Aria would be able to live a happier life without having to separate her family. I don't belong and I regret my decisions in life. I take the bag of pills I bought out of my pocket as I empty the bag into my hand. I take one last look at my room as I throw them into the back of my mouth and use the liquor to down them all.

Now it's all about waiting. The deed is done, and now I can rest knowing that my family won't have to grieve separately for me but together...
My eyes become hazy as my throat begins to become stuffy. Aria... I'm so sorry.