PROMISE | yungi

chapter 10.

yunho's pov

it was safe to say that i was extremely uncomfortable.

mingi and i made it to hongjoong's house less than 30 minutes ago, and i'm not sure how i managed to forget about all of the lasting memories i made here before.

we used to gather at hongjoong's place the most out of anyone else's within the friend group. he happened to have the most space and freedom— his parents were well off and always away on business trips, which left the older at home alone more often than not.

he always expressed how much he enjoyed having such free will, but i knew how he really felt; the reason he constantly invited our friend group over, the reason he always offered us rides home from school, the reason he'd become so worried and clingy if he hadn't seen us at school for the day.

on the last sleepover i ever had with them, i accidentally overheard one of his and seonghwa's heartfelt conversations.

hongjoong was lonely.

that was the biggest reason for the regret i harbored after breaking contact with everyone, the fact that i knew each of their biggest fears, yet never showed them mine— instead, i kept it in until it overflowed and exploded, specifically in seonghwa's face.

it had been a thought that disturbed my mind constantly, ever since i stepped out of seonghwa's home that day.

i never wanted to push somebody like them away from myself ever again.

i learned once with my old friend group before, and i wouldn't dare to make the same mistake again.

especially not with mingi.

"yunho? yunho, are you alright? i think he's zoning out," i heard mingi say to the other 6 people in the room. since when were they all gathered around me? apparently, i had been too deep in my thoughts to notice my surroundings.

i looked up at them, slightly flustered from how they were all staring me down out of concern. "yeah, sorry, i didn't realize,"

everyone could notice the tension in the air. the silence felt painfully long— i was just hoping one of them would speak up soon— what was the point in coming if nobody wanted to talk?

hongjoong eventually cleared his throat, taking the initiative in the conversation. "so... yunho. i know we haven't spoken to you in a while, but we asked mingi to bring you here because... we want to apologize to you."

hongjoong released a sigh after he spoke as if he'd been holding in those words for eternity. part of me felt extremely bitter about the situation, but i knew i had no right to feel that way. them ghosting me was truly just the consequence of my own actions. the other part of me, however, just wanted them to all accept me with open arms, to be how we were before— just more open so we wouldn't repeat the same mistakes. i'd give anything to be close to them again, to spend time like we used to. i knew this was one chance to get that back.

don't fuck this up, yunho.

i swallowed nervously before forming a response to hongjoong's words. "honestly, i would like to apologize to all of you as well... especially seonghwa, i think that's the least i could do after everything."

i hugged one of the decorative pillows from hongjoong's sofa as i slightly cuddled into mingi for comfort. it also made me feel safe from all of the eyes that were on me at that moment, which eased my anxiety slightly.

"yeah, i believe that goes for all of us," seonghwa spoke up, his face contorted with a look of guilt; that only made me feel worse about what i had done. i had only seen seonghwa with that look on his face on very few occasions, but it was truly heartbreaking every time— even more so when i felt responsible for it. "i'm sorry yunho. i know cutting you off like that that day was wrong. i knew your emotions weren't very stable at that time, yet i never considered if there was a reason— i never bothered to check on you, and i only realized that you might've had your own serious problems until after that day. but i was too embarrassed to come crawling back to you after being so rude with my words, so i instead suppressed it and kept it to myself, and just told everyone about how you reacted that day without the proper context. i'm so sorry for only thinking about myself back then, yunho. you didn't deserve that, you deserved to have someone there for you— and that's exactly what i was supposed to be for you; a friend. but i wasn't. i'm genuinely so sorry yunho, i'm not asking for you to forgive me, but i want you to know that from now on, i'll be there for you if you want me to."