Destiny Rules

Part 16

"I had no idea I even had candles." Lindsey said, his stare focused on the flame, the only source of light in the room. 

"I'm more shocked that you have a Playboy magazine." Stevie replied, laughing. "I mean, you never struggled with your, uh, imagination." 

Feeling his cheeks burning up, Lindsey shook his head, denying yet again that he got it himself. "I told you! It was a stupid gift from a stupid stupid friend."

Lindsey was back on the floor, his guitar in his lap again, back resting against the couch, on which Stevie lay. She propped herself up on her elbow and leaned in closer to his face. "Then why do you still have it?"

"I forgot about it." Lindsey lied, shrugging his shoulders. He couldn't just look for the damn candles himself, he had to tell Stevie to do it if she wanted a more intimate lighting. "Can we just drop it, please?"

Having had her fun, Stevie let it go. She turned on her side and bent her legs, practically hugging Lindsey with her body. She was no longer in her own clothes, she was wearing one of Lindsey's T-shirts. He turned his head only slightly, his hand itching to slither up her exposed leg. Giving her the shirt was another thing that he shouldn't have done. It was too... domestic, too familiar. Wearing his clothes was something she used to do, but was no longer supposed to.

"What are you thinking about?" Stevie asked, running her fingers through his hair. She could swear she heard him make a sound resembling a moan, he cocked his head back and it now rested against her stomach.

"How none of this is okay." Lindsey replied honestly. Oh, but it feels so right.

"I didn't come here and agreed to spend the night because I have some master plan to have sex with you." 

She sounded offended. Lindsey lifted his head up and turned to face her. "I didn't mean it like that. I know you didn't."

"Just say the word and I'll leave." Stevie moved to sit up, Lindsey grabbed her hand.

"No, don't." He said, shaking his head. "I don't what you to go. I guess, I-" He paused, a heavy sigh followed. "This-" He showed between them. "This is something I don't have, but you... You do. I don't understand, why you're here. With me." He added. "We're so close to crossing every possible line and I don't get it. Why risk everything you have?"

Stevie's expression softened. Good question. She mulled his words over and it took her a moment to respond. "It might seem like I have everything. Sure, yeah, my biggest dream came true, I have the fame and fortune, but..." She shrugged weakly. "It gets really lonely sometimes." She finally admitted to him what he'd already thought to be true. "Everybody wants a piece of Stevie Nicks." She spat out as if she'd tasted something bitter. "They want me to show up at some party, they want me to make a guest appearance at a show, they want me to sign things and pose for pictures because of the persona I've created. Don't get me wrong, I love it for the most part, but sometimes I just want-" She stopped for a second, carefully choosing her words. "This."

"This." Lindsey repeated. What was it exactly? Him? Or just a sense of normalcy, a moment to be herself?  

Stevie nodded, reaching for her drink that she had declined at first. "To be able to hide for a little while, to be with someone, who truly knows me. And you do. You have the ability to pull me back from that crazy world that I so easily get lost in. You..." She began, but wondered if she should continue. "You make me feel safe."

Lindsey swallowed uneasily. He really wished she hadn't said that. You make me feel safe, it meant a thousand times more to him than if she had told him, she loved him.

"What about Jimmy?" Lindsey had to ask, didn't want to, but had to. Having been around the couple for some time now, he still didn't understand if it was a real relationship or just a great arrangement for both Stevie and Jimmy.

"I think, that's pretty much over." Stevie laughed without much humor in her voice, she failed to see the shock written all over Lindsey's face. "And guess whose fault is that!" She exclaimed then pointed at herself. "He was never going to be the greatest love of my life, but we had a good thing going. Then you came back into my life." Lindsey was about to defend himself, he opened his mouth, but... "And I don't blame you. I swore that this is just a friendship. It was me, who wanted to spend time with you, it was me, who invited you to join me on the tour, it was me, who shamelessly started flirting with you, it was me, who-"

"Stevie..." Lindsey interrupted her, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek, he made her look at him. "You don't have to-" He left it at that, unsure of what else to say. "You do realize that I'm not here with you against my will, right?"

Stevie smiled, covering his hand with hers, she lowered it from her face, but didn't let go. "I'm sorry if all of this is too much. I know, I've done things to hurt you and you might still be angry with me, but I still..."

But? But she still what?

"I'm not angry." Lindsey gave up waiting for her to finish. "I never thought we would be like this again. That's more than I could ever ask for." He smiled somewhat sadly. "I want you to know that you can always turn to me no matter what."

"I do." Stevie whispered, swallowing back tears. "I haven't cried this much in years." Stevie laughed, grabbing a fistful of Lindsey's T-shirt to dab at her eyes. "It's exhausting!"

And it was, constantly trying to keep it together. Lindsey nodded in agreement. "Maybe it's time for bed?"

"I think so." Stevie replied through a heavy exhale. "Is it too much to ask to-" He already knew where she was going with that. "We don't have to if you don't want to."

Their hands still clasped, Lindsey stood up and pulled her up on her feet as well. He blew out the candle and without a word walked them to his bedroom, where the bed was fortunately made and he didn't embarrass himself yet again. Stevie was already ready for bed and she tried not to stare while Lindsey undressed to his boxers. She failed.

"What?" Lindsey asked, pulling the covers down. 

"Nothing." Stevie shook her head, realizing that she should have probably slept on the couch instead. It would have been much easier to resist the temptation.

She wanted to cuddled up to him, feel him, but somehow that seemed too inappropriate, not the flirting, touching, kissing and they had slipped a few more times since arriving at Lindsey's. He could almost hear her thinking, he lifted his arm up and she instantly pressed herself against his side. 

"Goodnight." Lindsey said, kissing her hair.

"Goodnight." Stevie echoed, closing her eyes.

But sleep didn't come that easily. Lindsey ignored the thoughts in his head, telling him how amazing it would feel to touch her, to run has hands over her body, let them slip inside that shirt she was wearing, to- 

Lindsey's eyes snapped open. Stevie moved her hand, lightly grazing his chest with her nails. Oh, God...