Chapter 19 - Forever Red

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Nanon's POV

My eyes felt so heavy. I tried to open them. God, what happened? I remember I was getting ready for a mission. P'Janhae's mission. And then.. Mix.. I remember Mix came to my house. He asked for an advice.. and a drink. He drank his drink. I drank my drink. And I blacked out. Did Mix drug me or something? I tried to open my eyes again. I slowly opened them. I looked around. I'm in my room. Ohm. Ohm is in my room, looking outside the window. "Ohm?" I called him, my voice hoarse. He turned around. He looked so tired, and he looked so sad. He walked towards me. He hugged me. He started sobbing. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." he whimpered. "Ohm... what happened..." he sobbed harder. "P'Jan... p'Jan... we tried everything we could.... but..." he said between sobs. I'm confused, and I realized something. "No.. No way... please... please tell me you're joking..." I untangled myself from him. I touched his cheeks. "Ohm... please... no... it's not true..." he can only sobbed harder. "This is all my fault... this is all my fault..." I started crying too. There's no way. No way we lost p'Janhae. "No... No... Please no..." I sobbed too. 


We calmed down after a few minutes. "Ohm..." I wanted to ask him, does he know about what Mix did to me. Is it the right time to do it? "Yes?" He turned to me. "Do you know how I ended up missing the mission? Or who did this?" I have no idea how to ask him. "You mean, about Mix drugging you?" I nodded. "I know. I was the one who asked him to drug you." He confessed. "...the fuck? Why did you do it?" I got mad. "Because I thought it was for the best. I wanted to keep you safe. You know he is dangerous. Very dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt." He tried to reason with me. "But, if I was there, maybe it's gonna be different. Maybe.. maybe p'Janhae won't be... she won't be..." I couldn't finished my sentence. I'm so sad, and so upset. She's not here anymore. I sobbed again. Ohm hugged me tight. "Nanon, I'm sorry, okay. I promise I won't do that kind of thing to you again." He rubbed my cheek. I nodded. I'm super tired right now. There's no use getting mad at him, and I don't have the energy to fight with him. "By the way, I have something else to tell you. But please don't freak out or get panicked, okay?" I nodded. "He's fine now. But p'Earth got stabbed during the mission. He got stabbed on his stomach. Now, he's at the hospital for recovery." I wanted to yell at someone, but I know it's no use. "Nanon, this sins group are so dangerous. They are so strong." Ohm suddenly said. "That Foei guy, he has the ability to read minds. And the woman one has the ability to control objects. She trapped me, and I couldn't get out. She was the one who stabbed p'Earth." He continued. "And that Lee guy has the ability to take someone else's power... and use them. Like, really use them. I saw him using fire, water and wind all at the same time." He explained. I just listened to him without saying one word. Will he still hold you like this if he knows? The voice in my head is loud and clear.


It was around the afternoon, p'Namtan texted us, asking us to meet at the meeting room. We all went there, except p'Earth. I saw Mix, and I really want to slap him for drugging me, but I felt like it wasn't the right time. We all gathered, all sat there in silent, just to support p'Namtan. She looked so sad, with bag around her eyes. I bet she cried her eyes out since last night. We tried to compose ourselves, but ended up sobbing too. We sobbed together. That's the only thing we could do.


After a few minutes, p'Namtan started talking. "Guys, we already contacted p'Janhae's family, and they were furious." She told us. Understandable. I mean, their daughter died while she enrolled here. "We tried to explain the situation, but they were still upset." She continued. "I begged them to do the funeral service here at the academy." She started sobbing again. "They refused at first. But I begged, and begged. I also begged for their forgiveness." She sobbed harder. "This is all my fault. I was her leader. This all happened because of me." I started sobbing too. If she said that, it was my fault too. P'Janhae is a grey at the time, and I was her leader. We all blamed ourselves for this incident. "They finally agreed to do the funeral here." She wiped her tears. "Nanon, I know she died grey, but... can we... can we do the funeral service at the red house?" P'Namtan asked me. "Of course you can. P'Jan was a red. She was part of the red house. She was your right hand man. And she's going to be a red forever." I started sobbing again. P'Namtan hugged me and we sobbed together. I felt so heavy in my chest. 

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