The adoption (regression)

(12) Changing room

DANIEL POV

We have finally made it to the mall. I didn't think the drive over would be such a roller coaster ride of emotions for Micheal.

Right now I have his small hand gripped in mine. I don't think I could be able to handle losing him in the store right now, even if only for a short time.

There are people everywhere, walking around from store to store, bags in their hands. This wasn't my favorite place, to crowded. But it has plenty of stores for us to go to, and a food court for lunch. It was the most practical choice.

I look down at Micheal as Amelia leads us into the first store. His head is down, watching his shuffling feet. He hasn't made a sound since his small meltdown, and his grip on my hand has only tightened since we've walked into the mall.

We go over to the young adult section first, although I doubt any of it is going to fit Micheal. The sections of clothes is large but there isn't a lot of variety. There are few colors available, and the clothes seem to repeat themselves. The same pants and shirts on every rack.

"Okay sweets, what size are you?" Amelia asks, already starting to look through the clothing. I would much prefer if we could get Micheal some proper little boy clothes, but we have to ease him into it.

Introducing age appropriate clothes to their mindset has always been a difficult task when trying to regress the kids we've looked after. They always put up some sort of fight, always arguing they aren't a baby, they aren't a little kid. But by the time we're done with them, they practically beg for the bright colors and the graphics of their favorite cartoons to be on their shirt. It always warms my heart when they learn to be carefree again, just enjoying life and wearing whatever they want, not caring what anyone else thinks.

"Don't know." Micheal shrugs, his hand still in mine. Amelia shoots a quick worried glance my way before giving a bright smile to Micheal.

"Well then we better figure that out now, shouldn't we?" Amelia lightly laughs. "I'll just grab a few sizes and then we can go try them on." Micheal nods his head silently, and Amelia starts to gather shirts along with a few pants.

After Amelia decides she has enough clothes picked out she turns toward us.

"Come on sweetie, let's go try these on." She holds out her free hand for Micheal to grab and he hesitantly takes it after I give him an encouraging smile and light push.

While they head off to the changing rooms I go to the kids section. The bright colors and cartoons make me smile as I picture Micheal running around the house in them. I start a mental list of clothes that I want to buy for him, feeling the textures of the clothes as I go.

MICHEAL POV

After my episode in the parking lot, I feel a little better, but I can't understand why. I'm agitated that I cried again but the past is in the past. I just need to try harder next time.

I scold myself. There will not be a next time! I am not going to cry like a baby. Boys don't cry!

Daniel had me hold his hand all the way into the mall and still while we were walking. My cheeks were a little pink as we walked by people.

It wasn't that embarrassing. I tell myself. You don't know anyone here. No one will recognize you having to hold a man's hand while you go shopping.

My nerves are all over the place. I've only had bad experiences in malls. My old foster parents or their kids, they had always did their best to treat me like a servant, act like I wasn't there, or embarrass me whenever we went out. Even thought I wasn't really allowed to go out of the houses I stayed in, there would be a few rare times they would drag me along.