LIVE TO DIE || T.K

𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 ~𝟭𝟰~

TOM POV

I took a long drag of one of her dads cigs she had stolen from the last time he came to visit. I was sat in-front of the hospital, just sitting on the bench.

Literally anyone could see me, but I didn't care.

I take another hit, inhaling it wrong this time. I began coughing into my elbow, laughing afterwards. Funny how life works right? One day you're alive and the next you're just dead, gone.

"What the hell are you doing!" Dr. Hills screams, sitting on the bench next to me. I shrug, pinching the cig, putting it up to my mouth again.

"Dying with Dani." I kept all the smoke in my chest.

"I should go on a run now." I drop the cig, stomping on it. "I'll see you later." I wave goodbye to her, she stands up grabbing my wrist back.

"Not only are you destroying yourself but you're also destroying Dani's chances at semi-healthy lungs."

"It's over, there's no transplant. We're dying anyways, let me die with her." I talk with my hands inside my jacket pockets, lifting the jacket up as I spoke.

"The world has so much to hold for you, she wants to die Tom, and you need to be strong for her. She's up there alone, wishing she was dead. You need to go up and hold her, cause you're not gonna get to do that after and you'll regret it." Dr. Hills says.

"All I can do is hold her it's all i've been doing." I begin to breakdown. "Just hold her until you can't anymore." She places her hands on my shoulders.

"She's the love of my life." I cry. "How am I going to be okay after she leaves me." My voice breaks.

"You learn to live with it, sit down." Dr. Hills pulls me down. "This is my husband, Ron. He's been dead two years now." She pulls up a photo on her phone.

"I'm so sorry." I sniffle.

"I don't sleep on his side of the bed anymore, the mattress is wearing uneven." She laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't think i'll be able to sleep by the wall ever again after Daniella goes." I rub my forehead with my palm, worriedly. "You guys met at a support group right?"

"I remember thinking she was really pretty. I had  bumped into her on purpose while she was getting some oatmeal raisin cookies, she still thinks they're my favorite, but they're not. I hate raisins, but it makes her happy." I smile, almost reliving the memory.

"Tell me more." Dr. Hills pats on my knee.

"I saw her walk into the support group, she used to have very light brown hair, but it's darkened up over the years. Dani was wearing low rise denim shorts with this striped tube top, it was long, still a little slutty for a twelve year old though." I laugh, wiping my nose.

"Naomi let her wear that?" Dr. Hills said shocked.

"I think Naomi was letting almost everything slide at the time, found cancer to be hard enough." I shrugged.

"I don't want to be a burden on you, Dr. Hills. But I know i'm not gonna make it without her, there isn't a single thing I do without her." I pout a little.

"Legally I have to hospitalize you if you tell me you want to kill yourself." She says, I raise a brow. "I can't have this conversation with you Tom, but for what it's worth, i'm gonna tell you the pain begins to subside slowly, eventually you'll heal." She reassures.

I nod slowly. "I'm gonna go to Dani, she's been alone to long." I stand up, brushing my clothes off.

-

"Dani, are you awake?" I walk into the room, taking my jacket off.

"I'm awake." I heard a small voice, I walk over getting in next to her. "I know it's hard, but we'll get through it." I pull her shoulder too look towards my way. 

"I don't want to see anyone, don't tell my mom yet. Just let us have today, please." She begs, holding my face.

"Baby." I say. "Hm, what? Dani hums. "Marry me."

"Marry you?" Her voice squeaks. "Yes." I respond. "We're sixteen and i'm dying." Dani shakes her head. "You don't want to marry me?" I ask.

"Marry me because you love me, not because we're dying." She whispers, against my lips.

"I'm gonna ask again, when you're better." I smile. "Better?" Dani tilts her head. "I believe in us, don't you?" I held the back of her head.

"I believe that it's my time to go." Dani, leans in. Giving me a kiss, I felt her wet eyelashes batting against my skin. "I believe that it's your time to fight." I kiss back.

"What if I don't want to." She breaths heavily as our faces press up against each other.

"You're gonna fight, till you can't anymore, I know your limit and you're not there. You're not there Dani, if I can't die with you, then you're gonna live with me."

"That's just the thing Tom, I can't imagine a life anymore. I can't imagine a life where we're healthy. Just let me go, you have to accept it." She rants.

"Well then i'm sorry but I don't accept that you're giving up. We live to die together. If it's not together then we don't die." I shake my head.

"Let me go." Dani bangs against my chest.

"I want you to let me go." Her voice goes raspy, as she bangs repeatedly. I didn't respond, pulling her into a tight hug. "We live together." I change our saying.

We live together.

"Stop it." Dani bangs harder, I grab her wrists. "If you fight, we get married Dani. If you fight, we have a life together, If we fight, the possibilities are endless." I try and convince her. "What if we don't make it." She sobs.

"You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought. You are my whole being." I hold her face.

Her hands relax, falling. Dani looks up at me, her eyes. They shook between my own, the glimmer of hope that was once there was gone. She was ready.

But I wasn't.

I knew I couldn't force her to live, no matter how hard I had tried so hard to. Though, at the end of the day, I was still gonna try my best.

"If I fight, you promise you'll make life worth living?" Dani interlocks her hands behind my neck.

I put my finger out. "A promise to fight." I say, as we interlock our pinkies together.

We both sniffle, staring at each other.

She leans in, giving me a kiss, wiping my tears. I kiss back, it was the most intimate moment we had ever shared. It was only a kiss, but it wasn't like any other.

"I promise, i'll fight for you." She whispers, against my lips, before leaning back in. I had my hand on her lower waist, there was no tongue involved in our kiss.

It was just a lot of repeated ones, our noses hitting every time. "It's getting hot." She chuckled, stuffily. Dani got up a little taking her shirt off.

I waited for her to lay back down, I just wanted her all night. I wanted to kiss her, hold her, have our talks.

She was my reason for my being.

"Thank you, for everything." Dani laid back in my arms, continuing our kiss. I felt her lick my tongue with her own, giggling a little.

I sucked on her bottom lip, chewing on it lightly. Dani leaned back in, for more. "Oh how I wish we could have sex right now." She whines.

"Not till you're better." I shake my head.

"I'm gonna take this off too, can you take off your shirt. I like skin to skin contact." Dani unclips her bra, I leaned up, taking my shirt off as well.

We spent the rest of that night, just hugging nonstop. Talking about our feelings and everything else.

Along the way I would toy with her nipples or just her boobs earning a couple laughs from her.

I loved nights like these.