BEING A WIFE OF A PRISONER

Chapter 18

SANDILE

She’s still running around when I arrive. I shift my gaze to the side as someone knocks on the window. I roll it down.

Neighbor: Hello, I’m her neighbor. Are you related to her?

Me: I’m her husband.

Neighbor: Nice too meet you.

Me: I can’t say the same.

Neighbor: Your wife is having a meltdown break down.

I arch my brow.

Me: How do you know because she was fine earlier on?

Neighbor: I’m a doctor.

Me: Right.

Neighbor: People react differently to shock. Has she experienced something traumatic or heard news that shocked her?

Me: Not that I know of.

I lie through my teeth knowing the reason of her behaviour.

Neighbor: Some people snap out of the breakdown and some don’t. I would suggest you take her to a psychiatrist.

Me: Not happening. Something triggered her to act like this.

Neighbor: That’s always the case and before you know it she will running around these streets naked.

Me: Did your father build these streets?

A frown emerges on her face.

Neighbor: What?

Me: I said did you father build these streets?

Neighbor: No, he did not.

Me: Exactly! As long he didn’t build them she can run to the moon and back freely without judgemental eyes staring at her. Instead of advising me what do ungitshela umbhedo. Awusuke la. Usiyangicasula. {You’re talking nonsense. Move away from her. You’re pissing me off}.

I click my tongue and drive in. I step out of the car and wait for her to come my way and hold her. She thrashes around but I hold her down. Picking her up, I walk to the house and place her on the couch. I know it’s a laughing matter considering the circumstances I found her in but I’m more worried than being assume.

Me: Hey, calm down.

She stops fighting and panted out. She raises her head and locks eyes with me.

Aza: You.

I can see the wheels in her head turning.

Aza: Please don’t tell me you’re who I think you’re .

Me: I’m sorry we had to meet like this.

Aza: I…

She trails off jumping to her feet and walk away. I heavily sigh and take back her spot on the couch. Believe me when I say my intentions were not trying to tick her off. She comes back fully dressed.

Aza: What do you want from me?

Her voice is a bit hoarsely.

Me: I want a lot of things.

Aza: What if I can’t give you those things?

Me: Then I’ll wait until you’re able to give back.

She chuckles.

Aza: You’re smooth.

I smile.

Aza: But unfortunately I can’t give you that.

Me: How will you know when you haven’t even tried?

Aza: Who in their right mind marries someone he doesn’t know?

Me: I did my homework and I know what I’m dealing with.

Aza: I wasn’t given the time to do mine.

Me: Yes you were but you were ignorant.

Aza: Because in my own head I thought it was something that will blow over. I thought you will stay there and I will stay here and life will continue like that. Nobody told me you would be coming out.

Me: I humbly apologize on the way I did things but my heart forced me to take such measures. Inhliziyo ihambe phambili kunomqondo. {My heart took a decision for me}.

She raises her hands.

Aza: Thixo Onofefe! Yinzule kanti le? {Jesus Christ! You’re a Zulu man}.

She exclaimed causing me to smile.

Me: I believe we haven’t properly introduced ourselves. I’m Sandile Dlamini, your husband and you’re?

Aza: You did your homework so there’s no need for me to introduce myself, Sandile.

My name rolls out of her mouth so easily. I smile.

Me: Know you know my name and you know my face.

Aza: It still changes nothing to me. Why hide behind my brother?

Me: Like I said my heart won over my mind.

Aza: I don’t think I can do this.

Me: Do what?

Aza: You, me. It’s just to much for me.

Tears welled in her eyes.

Aza: I was okay with you in there because at some point I knew you were there in the shadows. I was okay with this arrangement because you were not in my face. You guys took a decision on my behalf and it didn’t matter whether I refused or not because the contract would have been hovering over my head. You could have easily sued me or my brother for money we don’t have.

Her words break in between.

Aza: Why do rich people always feel the need to take away rights of the poor? Do you think we asked to be like this? Do you think we selected poverty from our mother’s womb?

Tears stream down her cheeks. I leap up to my feet to comfort her but she shakes her head.

Aza: I will work hard to pay each cent I spent even it takes me years to repay it.

Me: I don’t care about the money. I just want you.

Aza: (crying) You have all the money in the world but yet you choose me. Why?

Me: Inhliziyo ikhethe wena mama. Bendisacela ungiphe ithuba. {The heart chose you. Can you please give me a chance}.

Aza: I’m tired.

I nod.

Me: Go to sleep we will talk when you’re okay.

She shakes her head and burst in tears.

Aza: No, I’m tired.

I padded to her open my arms for her. She doesn’t push me so I take that as an opportunity to embrace her.

Aza: One can take so much but this was the last straw. I would have done everything for brother even it means walking around naked but this time he undermined me and took away my rights. I’m tired of always being the understanding one. I’m tired of always being the one on the firing line. I’m tired of people taking a decision for me like I’ve got no voice. Everyone do as they please regarding my life and I’m tired.

She releases a heart wrenching sob.

Me: It’s okay. Shhh.

I gently stroke her back reflecting on my decision. Maybe I should have courted instead of doing things the way I did. The neighbour was right about the breakdown. She’s been bottling this up for a very long time and they are now coming up to strong and she can’t handle them. Now I feel bad for the role I played.