BEING A WIFE OF A PRISONER

Chapter 72

JENNIFER

Two days later my father still pretends like he doesn’t know. I’m sure his waiting for me to tell him but I’m not going to ruin the surprise. I want him to ask me instead. I’ve been on my happiest since I find out about the pregnancy. My mother favoured my brother more than me while my father left while we were still kids. My first ever boyfriend broke my heart and turned me to a public laughing stock. My brother sold me to a man I hardly know for survival in jail and the man married me without my knowledge. Even if I refused to marry him Akhona took that right away from me when he signed an agreement with him that he can take me as his wife. The so called husband walks out of prison and warms his way into my heart for only to break it again. He came with his own baggage that I needed to deal with.

I understood because everyone has his or her own baggage but for his girlfriend to attempt to kill me was the last straw. I didn’t know being in love with him meant I had to fight for my own life at that time. Moving away and starting my life afresh was the hardest part but I knew I had to do it. 7 years down the line he finds that I’m alive and again he just wants to waltz into my life again. He doesn’t care about how I feel as long in his eyes it’s okay fuck everybody’s feelings. I’m not going to start by mentioned my baby daddy.

I love Mholi with all of my heart and I understand where he comes from because that’s the same thing Sandile did to me. His anger is justified and he has every right to break up with me but one thing I’m not going to do is chase after him. I’ve been doing that my whole life and this time around I’m looking for change. Change in how I do things in order for me to be a better mom to my child. This baby is the one thing I can call it my own without fighting for his or her love. I know she/he will love me until my last days.

I walk outside to the gate and look down the street. It’s my father’s birthday and the old man is turning 51. I wake up in the morning and went to town to buy a few things just make this day special for him and by the time they come back from the council meeting everything will be set up for the party. I did spring cleaning after coming back just to beat up time. The house windows are sparkling outside and the laundry is hanging outside. The only thing I didn’t do is taking down the curtains and washing them. I clamp my hands in excitement looking at my set up.  I pick up my phone to go through the list again.

1. Balloons ✅

I look at the balloons on the wall and the big one written 51 and tick it off.

2. Rice ✅

He will make uphuthu the day he throw himself a party not this one is that is thrown by me. I can’t invite people over and feed them pap. My father doesn’t mind eating it the whole day and do is my uncle and I know my guests which consists myself, Mam Zodwa, umalumekazi and two of little cousins  do mind. I’m not counting Bangizwe because I know he will agree to everything his brother says. It’s just a mini party for relatives only, minus my cousin Thulisile because she’s at work. The day I get a job and it pays well is the day I will throw him the mother of all parties.

3. Meat ✅

My mouth waters as I peel the lid and look at the various meat on the table. Wors, chicken, pork and red meat. The birthday man doesn’t eat pork so he will be having the red meat while we have pork.
  
4. Drinks✅

I’ve got 2 soft drinks, Coke and Sprite and a 2 litre of Tropika. Again he only drinks juice instead of soft drinks. I don’t know why does he fusses like this. I can’t imagine my life without a soft drink.

5. Cake✅

I resist the urge to dig my finger the Happy birthday tatam words written in cream. I ordered the cake and I picked it up this morning. It cost me R600 because it was short notice. If he does appreciate me for this I wouldn’t know what he wants from me.