★ LABYRINTH ★ JAX X GN! READER || TADC

⭑ what, you gonna cry? ⭑

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

~y/n pov~

A heavy fog hung over my head, my body numb though slightly aching from the struggle against myself the night before. I lay (barely) awake in my bed, stuck in the same position I fell asleep in. I didn't want to move or take in my surroundings. I didn't want to face the day, I didn't want to do anything. Time seemed to move slowly as all possible sounds from within my room blurred. I lost all my progress. Everything, gone. I couldn't tell if I'd been here a week, a month, a year, a decade...

The sudden knock at my door would've surprise me, but now, I didn't even flinch nor respond. I didn't really want to deal with anyone.

"Y/n?" Ragatha's gentle voice was muffled through the door. It was nice to hear, yet I still didn't respond.

Long, quiet moments passed before the door opened. I didn't protest, instead lay still where I was with my eyes fixated on my pillow. Ragatha sat down at the edge of my bed and lay her hand on my shoulder, peeking over to try to get a glimpse of my face. "Y/n? Are you alright?.." She asked delicately.

"Oh ragatha..." my voice broke, tears quickly forming in my eyes again as i clenched my teeth. "I lost everything...it's all gone..." I held back pathetic sobs as I shifted my face into the pillow.

"Oh sweetie...c'mere." She gestured me to sit up and I lazily did so, her arms wrapping around me as I quietly cried over her shoulder. She patted my back and whispered comforting words that I didn't register.

~jax pov~

Ragatha had unconsciously left the door ajar when she entered your room and, from the hallway, I could hear y/n's crying as he passed your door. I sighed, knowing those sobs anywhere from the dreaded memories of last night. I turned on my heel and put on my most unaware expression.

I opened the door further to see their face buried in ragatha's shoulder, her eyes pitiful as she patted their back. Regret spilled back into my mind as I tried to stay neutral about the whole situation.

"What goin' on here?" I mused, my head tilting to the side as I tried to watch y/n cry without looking away.

Ragatha's head turned to me, her eyes slightly narrowed. "Nothing that you'll be of help to. I suggest you go bother somebody else." She quipped, focusing her attention back to y/n.

I opened my mouth to speak again, but no words came out. I wanted to stay, but I knew that I would only make the situation worse, and not in a good way. So I simply shrugged and closed the door, finally letting the misery in my eyes show and my posture droop when nobody was in sight.

I rubbed my eyelids with my gloved and sighed. I didn't know it would be this  difficult ratting out a spy. Sure, I erased y/n's precious count, which i was sure was being used against us somehow...but at what cost?

I wasn't a stranger to crying. Gangle cried all the time, which i found joy in such a sight. I remembered kinger's weak moments after queenie abstracted, him sitting against her freshly taped-off door with his head bent and tears slipping out of his eyes and onto his robe. I could understand kinger's sadness at the time, but wasn't fazed by it. So then why did it hurt me so much when y/n  cried? 

I remembered ragatha going on about something along the lines of how me and y/n would bond. Was this a sign? I prayed that it wasn't. I couldn't grow close to them, I had to act  like I was, but it couldn't be the real thing. 

Maybe I could make it up to them in discrete ways. They loved that dark, quiet area of the circus tent, maybe I could start making more gestures like that...

But would y/n find out that it was me who erased their count? I couldn't see how. I mean, maybe they would dust for prints or swap the area? Pft. Get real. But on the other hand...they were most likely a spy...

I groaned quietly and rested my fingertips against my temple, my eyes screwing shut. I stumbled back to my room, my pounding stress-induced headache clouding my vision along the way.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───