Bygones

Chapter 20

These days, most people talk about becoming something or someone, which is good in its own way. People should want to become better. But for Harleen Quinzel, the perfect word for her life would be unbecoming. It started in high school, where she unbecame the naive girl. One too many taunts and relentless teasing will do that to a person.

Once Harleen unbecame one thing, she continued to unbecome others. It stands to reason that her Harley Quinn persona was part of that unbecoming. She unbecame sanity for craziness. It was easy to do; just let herself go off the deep end. Simple. But, eventually, the blonde had to undo all the unbecoming when her breaking point was well and truly at its limit. Undoing is more complicated than unbecoming. It requires resolve and determination of mind and spirit. Undoing is difficult.

And Harley supposes the word that fits all of this entirely would be un. She is an un. Un is her. Every adjective for un, which means not, would be phrases others have used to describe the blonde, and sometimes she even thought them herself: not pretty, not good, not happy, not safe, not reliable, not smart, not welcome, not wanted. The list could go on and on. But that was before the final Arkham lock-up. Now Harley's life is the opposite of un.

It's full of joy and love. So, putting on the Harley Quinn costume was unpleasant, mainly due to all the negative connotations and memories associated with it. It's like Alfred, and Bruce reminded her. The outfit is just clothing. It's an inanimate thing. It can't hurt her or make her something she isn't unless given full consent, which she won't.

That happened before. The blonde fully consented to letting the crazy reign over her life like one rules a kingdom. Harley still let it happen no matter how manipulated and twisted that consent was. She knows better now. And one truth of the matter sticks out like a sore thumb: real men don't take advantage of vulnerable women. They just don't.

Today, she's becoming Harley Quinn for (hopefully) the final time. Not because she's forced to, but because she wants to, for Bruce. Every piece of the costume was in place except for the last loop in the studded belt. Once that closed, Harleen stood back and looked at herself in the mirror. Many thoughts flooded her mind, one being the inappropriateness of the shorts. Good grief! Her fanny is practically hanging out. No wonder Bruce liked them so much.

It's funny how thoughts like that wouldn't have mattered at the time. It does now. And that is how Harleen knew she wasn't truly Harley Quinn, even in full costume. With that, her anxiety detached itself, like a heavy backpack being set down, and she could breathe freely. The only thing missing with this get-up is the pigtails.

As Harley mulled over the idea of the pigtails, a knock sounded at the door. She paused and moved to answer it. On the other side was someone unexpected, but it pleased her nonetheless, Cassandra.

The two females stared the other down, ending with Harley raising an eyebrow and Cassandra raising the two items in her hand. The blonde chuckled at seeing one red and one blue synthetic hair clip-ins. She's seen many of these colorful clip-ins making their rounds at Westover, particularly with the competition teams like the dance girls and gymnasts. Teens and their hair!

"For me," Harley asked.

Cass nodded and handed them over. She signed, "I thought you could use them."

The blonde let the girl inside the bedroom, and the two entered the spacious bathroom, where Harley started fixing her hair. She told Cass, "Thank you. I wasn't too sure about the hair. Now it'll look spot on, I guess."

The two have become closer over the months and weeks of living at Wayne Manor. Like with Bruce, their relationship has grown and changed, too. The need for sign language disappeared once the blonde learned sign language phrases and words, which didn't take long, thanks to how quickly her brain worked. Harley no longer signs with Cass, but she speaks plainly. The need for a sign will occasionally arise, especially if the young girl is stressed or emotional.