Shatter Me

[8] Hope Forever

I looked down at my watch. 5:33

I grabbed my purse and headed outside to my car. Revving the engine up, I closed the door. Then took a few deep breaths before pulling out of the parking lot for my apartment complex.

Saturday had come and I couldn't believe that I was actually going to this movie with Jason. I was sort of nervous because I had never been out with a guy before, even if it was with a whole group of people. I guessed that I would just have to see how it went.

I arrived at the theater that Jason had told me about.

He had offered to pick me up and drive me there but I had refused. I was definitely not doing anything like that. So we drove separately.

I parked in front of the theater and got out of my car.

I looked up at the building. It was just barely getting dark out by this time. The lights illuminating the name of the theater were shining brightly. Since this was the premiere of the movie that we were going to be seeing, the theater was pretty busy right now.

I took a deep breath and walked in through the doors. Lots of people walked about and the chatter of the people echoed throughout the place.

This whole experience was so new to me and I was sort of nervous to be with such a big group of people.

I spotted Jason across the foyer, amongst a bunch of other guys and girls. I recognized most of them as them as students from collage. And I identified the guy that Jason was talking to, as Jason's roommate. I was pretty sure his name was Aiden. I had heard them talking between classes before and I had gathered that they shared a dorm room.

Jason - after noticing me standing near the door - walked over to me and greeted me with a smile. Then I guess he noticed the look on my face cause he asked me if I was okay.

"Yeah..." I responded. "I'm just not very used to being around so many people. I-I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? I mean, I don't want to make you do this is you don't want to. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"No...it's okay."

"Okay, if you're sure... the movie's just about to start."

He guided me over to the group of people he had been with, who had now lined up at the concessions counter and were ordering popcorn and soda and other snacks.

After asking if I wanted some, Jason ordered us both popcorn and soda. He said it was on him. I thought that that was very kind of him.

I looked back at my watch. It was 5:57. The movie was going to be starting any minute, so our group walked down the hall and into the room that the movie was playing in.

*****

Hence the name, the movie was about hope. Something I'd lost a long time ago.

But as I was watching the movie, I realized something. Hope was something I didn't have, but Jason seemed like he did. After watching him, it seemed like he had a hope and a...trust in something greater than I could possibly understand. I couldn't understand what it was, but I knew that there was...something that he had hope in. Otherwise, he'd be more like me. Feeling like life was just a hopeless mess and wondering what my purpose was. But Jason was nothing like that. He was so happy all of the time and I wondered what it was that gave him such a joy.

Then I remembered something. Jason was a Christian. And he had told me a few things about his...God. He had told me that his God blessed him this life. And that even when he messed up, his God still loved him unconditionally.

I thought about that and thought that that would amazing. To have someone who loved me even when I messed up...

But was that where Jason found his hope? In his...God?

When the movie had ended and Jason was walking me out to my car, I started asking him the question that was on my mind. "So...you're a Christian..." I said it in such a way to where even I couldn't tell if it was a question or a statement.

He seemed to lighten up a little bit but at the same time, become just slightly more serious.

"And..." I continued. "Is that that where you find your hope? In...your God?"

"...Yes. I'd like to say that I have a lot of hope in my God."

"But why?" I became more eager to find out the answers to everything I had been wondering. "Why does he give you hope? And...what do you have hope for? Do you feel like you have a...a future?"

Jason and I both slowed to a stop. And he looked at me. "My God gives me hope because he is the only one who never gives up on me. He is always there for me and his love is unconditional. And what do I have hope for? I have hope for my future. I have hope that my God will one day deliver me from the burdens of this temporary life because he has something much greater planned for me and for all of those who choose to trust in him. So yes, I have hope and I do feel like I have a future. In fact, I know I have a future."

I nodded slowly.

We were quiet all the way up to when we got to my car. Because I was thinking about what Jason said. He had hope for his future. He said that one day he would be delivered from this... temporary life.

Of course, I knew that this life was only temporary. But I had never thought about what happened afterwards. But Jason seemed like he knew. He knew that there was something greater waiting for him. He had hope. I wanted hope. I wanted hope like his. Because right now...I was just scared of the future.