Shatter Me

[16] Immediately Alert

"If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly. There's no one to catch me if I take a dive. I'm scared of change and the days stay the same. The world is spinning but only in rain." -From Lindsey's Sterling's song 'Shatter Me' ft. Lzzy Hale.

~~~

I wanted to let go of the fear and the What Ifs. I wanted to live like everyone else. Instead of being stuck here in my own little world. I wanted to just go ahead and say it - I liked Jason. Because there wasn't really any denying it now. But I was scared of change. And that's why my everything was always the same. I finally realized...if I didn't do anything different...that nothing was going to change.

But what happened if I broke the glass...if I took a dive into the real world...there would be no one to catch me if I started drowning.

But I liked Jason. There was no escaping it. And I might have even liked him more than I knew...

***

Acting was the one thing that I was the most passionate about. I found comfort in it. But I was quite worried about this play.  This had been the most lines I had ever had to memorize, for I was taking on the role of the lead character. I was grateful, though, to have had Jason there to help me out and to push me to keep going.

I stood on stage, facing the girl who was playing my best friend in the play. Mind focused. I took a deep breath and carefully said the lines that began the first act.

Jason wasn't in the crowd even though he had been in it for almost every play I had done since that first one he had come to. I tried not to pay too much mind to the fact that he wasn't here, so as to not stumble or stutter over my words.

It came towards the end of play; Jason still didn't show up.
The cue came where I was supposed to fall to the ground, dead. It was the most tragic part of the story, where the main character, being me, so brave and valiant, faced her death.

Although, truly, behind the character I played, I was anything but brave and valiant. And death happened to be one of my most biggest fears.

I was so opposite from Jason...he was the most brave person I'd ever seen; not even afraid of death. It seemed to me that  the reason for that was the hope that he held in his heart...

I opened my mouth and began to say my character's last words before she falls dead.

I noticed the back door of the auditorium opening but tried to ignore it so not to forget what I was saying. But when Aiden stepped in the door with a quite urgent look on his face and eyes fixed on me, I stopped mid sentence. I knew something was wrong. And I could sense that it was more than just something little.

I looked at him standing there across the room. A sudden unsettling feeling came to my stomach.

"It's Jason." He mouthed.

My eyes widened. I suddenly felt sick. It could have just been nothing. But from the look on Aiden's face, I could tell it was something much more than nothing.

Completely forgetting I was in the middle of performing a play, I suddenly walked right off stage. The crowd and all the cast had all eyes on me, but I could care far less --my mind was solely on Jason.

As soon as I reached Aiden, I asked urgently, "Is Jason okay? What happened?"

Aidens face was pale and full of fear and uncertainty, which made me even more afraid.

Aiden looked as if he was scared to even say what was wrong. And once I heard the next words that came out of his mouth, I understood his fear completely"

"Motorcycle crash."