Ineffable Euphoria

Kabanata 36

Kabanata 36...
Familiar

I wonder when will I be truly safe?

It has been 2 days since the attempted shooting. Araw-araw bumibisita ang mga kapatid ko, pati na rin si Ali. Ang trabaho ko'y pansamantalang nalipat dito sa bahay, kaya pangalawang araw ko na ring hindi lumalabas.

Sumandal ako at pigalaw-galaw ang swivel chair.

I've been using Dad's past office as my workplace, and memories are just flooding me. Not that it doesn't flood me enough every day that I'm living here.

A lot of fights happened here... I remember when Dad will make our house help call me to reprimand me on something that I did, regardless, there were a lot of good memories here too. This is where I'll run into when I got high grades, scores, achievements, and he'll always congratulate me. Give me a hug, maybe a prize...

Tinitigan ko si Zyair na nakapangalumbaba ngayon sa aking lamesa.

"I know someone who makes great interior designs, I could hook you up with her."

"Kuya, I'm not leaving this house. Besides, I already have a functioning security. Hindi na naman siguro ako mapapahamak dito."

Bukod pa doon, they're always one call away when there's emergency. Isa pa'y tumutuloy pa rin naman ang imbestigasyon.

"Pero you're always alone—"

"E kaya nga I have a security na. Kuya naman..."

Kahapon pa sila ni Jyair na pinipilit akong lumipat na lang sa kaparehong condo tower nila, but my decision stays still. This is my house.

My home.

I'm staying here.

"Don't hate us. We just want your safety." Nagbuntong hininga si Zyair. "May pupuntahan lang ako. Do you want anything?"

Umiling lamang ako at sandal pang nagpaalam si Kuya bago ito tuluyang umalis. Sinabayan ko na rin s'ya sa pagbaba para maghanda sa pagbisita ni Tito Mario.

Somehow, he knew that I wasn't attending to my office the past two days, that he emailed me this morning regarding it.

I didn't exactly tell anyone about what happened, at ganoon din kay Tito. Ipinaliwanag ko na lamang na may kinailangan akong ayusin to some of our physical stores, kaya sa labas ako nagtrabaho.

Ipinagtataka n'ya pa kung bakit hindi ko na lang inutos ang kung ano man 'yon, pero ipinagsawalang bahala na rin ang tanong at sinabing pupunta nga raw s'ya rito.

Alessandro:

Don't forget to eat your lunch. Kumakain na ako ngayon.

Napanguso ako.

Ako:

I'm done eating kanina pa. What time are you going here?

Wala pang isang minuto ay lumabas na ang reply n'ya.

Alessandro:

Right after work, probably 3 or 4. Why? Do you want anything?

My face is all crumpled now.

Why do they keep asking that? Para namang laging ang dami kong utos at ine-expect na nilang may favor ako lagi?!

Not even an hour later, as I was working on my laptop in our living room, one of our securities, dressed in all black uniform, approached me to inform that there were people outside.