Ineffable Euphoria

Kabanata 32

Kabanata 32...
Hear

"What if all the evidence, statements and everything really points out on the man though? If all the jury says he's not guilty, then he's not guilty?"

"The judge's the one making the call, but if circumstances come and all the juries say he's not guilty, of course, p'wedeng mag dalawang isip ang judge." nagkibit balikat s'ya. "That's just how it is."

Kumunot ang noo ko.

For the fourth time in a row, he's visiting my office again. Now, we're arguing some of the court's terms as he was telling me about some of his past cases.

It's too complicated for me. Kaya siguro never pumasok sa isip ko na mag take ng law. It's not for me.

"Ayaw ko na. I'll just stick to my job," umiling pa ako bago ipinagpatuloy ang pagkain.

Natawa s'ya. "Sure, you are..."

With my creased forehead, my eyes snap at him. "What do you mean? Do you think I can't do your job?"

I mean, I can't, but why does he agree? It's only okay when it's coming from me.

Ali snorted and immediately shook his head.

"You can definitely do any job you want. What I meant is you're already doing great at your job. It'll be better if you... continue doing it."

Naningkit ang mga mata ko sa kan'ya. Mukang iniisip pa talaga kung anong palusot ang sasabihin. Umirap na lang ako.

Lalo s'yang natawa at umayos pa nang pagkakaupo.

"Ano?"

"Shut up, Alessandro," inismiran ko s'ya.

"It depends on your mood, huh?"

"What?"

"Nothing," he purses his lips as he averts his eyes.

Hindi ko na alam kung wala pa rin bang ibinibigay na bagong case sa kan'ya, o talagang bored na bored na talaga s'ya sa buhay n'ya kaya panay ang daan n'ya rito sa office ko.

Apat na araw na rin mula nang maging kumpletong tatlo beses ang kain ko sa isang araw. Minsan nga'y sobra pa dahil nagpapa-deliver din sila Kuya sa'kin. Kung hindi lang dahil sa pagkakahimatay ko noong nakaraan, iisipin kong gusto nila akong tumaba lahat.

"I've been meaning to ask..." napalunok ako nang maalala ang isang bagay.

"What is it?"

"Do you remember where Miranda's grave was?"

Hindi 'yon nawala sa isip ko magmula nang bumisita kami sa orphanage, pero ngayon ko lang tuluyang natulak ang sarili ko para itanong sa kan'ya iyon.

It took him a long time to answer so, I raised my head at him. He then nods, looking at me intently.

"Do you want to visit her?" He asked.

"Yeah..."

Palaisipan pa rin sa'kin kung ano ang tunay na nangyari sa kan'ya. Isa sa mga tanong ng nakaraan na nais kong masagot, pero hindi ko tuluyang mawari sa isip ko kung kung malaman ko ang lahat ng katotohanan... magiging ako pa ba ang pinaghirapan kong buoing sarili sa mga nagdaang taon, o babalik na naman ako sa dati?

Hindi ko malalaman kung hindi ko isasabuhay, pero naduduwag ako.

Some of the answers are already sitting right in front of me, but I can't seem to even glance at it to take a peek at what's waiting for me.