Every Scar Has Its Story

Chapter 22 Alone

"Okay, are you going to tell me what's bothering you honey? You got me to come get you immediately from school and you have not said a word since. Are you okay?"

" Can I just go to my room?"

" Thea..."

"For God's Sake,no Mom I'm not okay and I just want a second to myself. Is that so much to ask for?!"

"No Thea you don't get to talk to me like that. I'm trying to be here for you."

" Maybe I don't need you to be here for me, maybe I need time and space and a room to breathe."

"You know what, if you want to sulk all day in your room and cry then fine go. Maybe if you don't want people pitying you, you should stop feeling sorry for yourself. Do you know how many people in this world are blind and are still thankful for life?!"

"Great. Thank you Mom..."

"Honey I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

I went to my room and shut the door. I wanted to be alone. Everything had always felt abd seemed better when I dealt with it by myself. I've always been alone and I had made peace with it, I built up my walls to protect me- to protect my emotions. Then he came, he made my walls feel like a prison and now I don't feel comfortable being alone anymore. Was it all normal? To depend on one person to do all the work for me, was I wrong to depend on Jax to make me feel while I should have done the work myself?

The only thing that comforted me in any situation and made me feel like myself was Bryce. Again, is it normal to depend on a dog for comfort when I have two parents willing to do all the work if I just let them? What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I be normal? Mom was right, I am the problem.

"Thea." My Dad was on the other end of my door

" I don't want to lie to you, everytime you're like this I always think of the worst. I just hope you're not thinking of it. I won't try to enter or ask you anything. I just want you to listen. Your mom and I aren't perfect, I mean I don't think there's such a thing as perfect parents because there isn't such a thing as perfect people. But in all we do we love you and we put you first in everything. I just wanted you to know that."

" Dad?"

" Yes?"

" Is Mom okay?"

" She's not but don't worry about that she'll be okay."

" No Dad, for the first time in a long time I was able to hear it in her voice, to notice that she wasn't okay and I'm not letting go of that."

" Honey just focus on yourself right now."

" Dad..."

" Okay. Your mom and I..."

" Are you two getting a divorce?"

" No. What? We are not getting a divorce, ever."

" Then what is it?"

" We... we had put your name on the waitlist, that was after your doctor had said there was no hope had you'd ever see..."

" And I had made peace with that. I know my condition Dad, better than you could imagine. But you and mom put me on a waitlist..."

" Thea listen there was a higher chance of you seeing with us putting you on the waitlist."

" Dad you put me on that waitlist since I was 10 and nothing so you took me off...wait, you never took me off, did you?"

"Honey we..."

" You never took me off!"

" We always thought a miracle might happen. And it almost did Thea you were going to get eyes but..."

" There's always a but, we've gone through this a lot of times and I don't want to be the source of your pain anymore. That would explain why mom was sad."

"She was really thinking you'd..."

" I'm sorry dad, tell mom I'm sorry too. But I really feel I like I need to rest now..."

" Rest?"

" Sleep, Dad. I'm really tired and today has been a lot, if that's okay with you."

"Oh okay. Goodnight, we love you."

" Goodnight Dad, I love you guys too."

I finally opened my phone and there were 71 missed calls from Jax. There was no running away from him.