Every Scar Has Its Story

Chapter 19 He Changed Me

* A Few Hours Before the Call*

" I know Walter!"

" No you don't, you don't know. He could've kidnapped you for God's sake!"

" He wouldn't."

" He wouldn't because you know he wouldn't or because you'd like to believe he wouldn't?"

" I just know he wouldn't hurt me."

" Listen, I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record but really I was worried about you. I don't know what I would've done if anything had happened to you. That's why I'm..."

" I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you."

" That's exactly what I'm worried about, you don't strike me as a person who lies. So that's why I know that the guy is a bad influence. He's changing you, Thea."

He was, I couldn't argue with that. Whether it was for the best or the worst, I don't know.

"Actually I have no right to tell you what to do. So do whatever you want to do."

" What?"

" I just figured out that maybe you're not even the person I thought you were."

" And what do you mean by that? You don't even know me."

" And Jax does? He suddenly knows everything about you."

" I don't even know why we're talking about Jax."

" Yes fine let's not talk about Jax."

" I don't even understand why you're so mad."

" You'll be fine on your own right? I have to go."

" But..."

He left either way. I couldn't understand why he was so angry. I was back and I was safe .We haven't known each other for a long time but I guess he does care about me and I wouldn't want to lose his " friendship" I guess. Also I can't deny that what he was saying was true, I had changed ever since I met Jax. I had turned into a really different person. My mom came to get me and we went home, I was really in my world. I didn't even pay attention to Bryce when we got home. I went straight to my room.

All I could think about was Jax. Something was wrong with me. Today kept replaying itself in my head. Him and I, his hand in mine. Wait, did I lose? Was I...no! Was I falling in love? It can't happen. I can't love him, and he can't love me back. Walter was right, I was becoming different. He was changing me. I was cocoon Thea, in my darkness and comfortable; until he came along. I wanted to be there. To see him, I'm blind so ofcourse not like that, but to be able to tell what makes him mad and sad and happy.

But I can't risk it! I have never been in a relationship with anyone my entire life so I wouldn't want to set him back , there's no way I'd let him settle for me. How can he love me when I can't even love myself?

" No Jax. I can't allow you to do that."

" Thea,just stop thinking about yourself for a second. Think about me, I want to..."

" Bye Jax." I hang up on him.

" Siri, turn the flight mode on."

I didn't want to think about him any further.

" Mom! Mom!"

She came burging in, " Yes honey? Are you okay?"

" No I'm not." For the first time in a long time I let my mom be there for me, I let her be a mother to me and comfort me. She didn't ask any questions, she just held me in her arms and stroked my head. She sang me the lullaby that always sent me to sleep when I was little and I slept.

" Good morning honey." My dad woke me up with a kiss to my forehead

Morning? How can it be morning already?

" Good morning Dad!"

" It looks like rain today, it hasn't rained in a while so it'll be good. By the way, do you feel like going to school today?"

I didn't go yesterday so I had to go today otherwise they'll probably call my parents and ask if I'm still alive. " Yes Dad, I'll just go get ready and meet you in the kitchen when I'm done."

" Okay, sure thing."

I got ready and went to the kitchen when I was done.

" Good morning Mom, and something smells off."

" Hi honey, what does it smell like?"

" Ahm, salmon."

" Oh no! I forgot to put it in the freezer, thank you honey. I tried making you those blueberry muffins you like, I know mine won't be as good as..."

Blueberry muffins. He was the one who made me like them, they reminded me of him.

" Thea!"

" Yes Dad?"

" Blueberry muffins?"

" Thank you Mom but I'll just get a smoothie."

" Okay you'll have them later."

Dad dropped me off as usual. I came with Bryce because I didn't know if Walter was any less mad at me. We walked for a while before I could smell his scent all over the place. Was he here or was I just going crazy? I stopped. Maybe I was going crazy, I took a step forward and Bryce started barking excitedly.

" What is it now? C'mon let's go!"

Bryce wasn't moving,he kept barking.

" Jax!" I knew it was crazy to just call him out like I was summoning him but it kinda felt like he was there.

" If you're not here then just let us pass. Let's go Bryce!" I took a few steps and...

" Stop!"

" What are you doing here?"

" I came to see you. Thea, just hear me out."

" Jax, I have to go. I don't even have any interest in hearing what you have to say."

" Okay fine, if you won't listen then..."

He walked towards me, he was coming close. I didn't want him close. He shouldn't come close.

" Jax, I really have to go." I moved past him but he grabbed my hand and pulled me close. I was in his arms, I could feel his breath just inches away from my lips. Was he going to kiss me?

The first drop landed on my forehead. It was going to rain like Dad said. He pulled me even more closer, he was rough but gentle at once; my nose was rubbing against his.

Then he whispered in my ear, " I want you. I want you so bad that it kills me to hold you like this but not be able to kiss you. "

I fell silent, ofcourse he knew I wasn't going to answer. The drops started pouring heavily but I didn't mind them. I just wanted to stay like this, to stay in his arms. He moved his lips from my ear to just inches away from my mouth. I wanted him to kiss me, but he didn't.

" Tell me the truth Thea, tell me how you feel and I promise I'll kiss the air out of you."

No, I wasn't going to do that. I frowned.

" Okay, then I'm not going to kiss you."

I was disappointed. Why was he even doing this? Why was he toying with my emotions like this? Is this all a game to him? He let me loose. He was going to let me go, wasn't he? What about what he just said? Then what he did after that was unexpected, he bit my earlobe!!!!

" I love you Thea!"