Every Scar Has Its Story

Chapter 8 Why?

" If you're not doing this out of pity, then why?"

" Why?" he asked mockingly

" Yes Jax, why are you being nice to me?"

" Who said anything about being nice?"

" Just stop with whatever it is you're doing then, it's pathetic."

" Okay fine by me. I wouldn't wanna be accused of trying to do a decent thing and be sent to jail for doing it."

We both went silent, he was behaving like how I would want everyone to, but he was a stranger and he knew nothing about me so I wasn't going to let him get under my skin. He surely was not going to act nice and talk back to me and call me later, ask to meet up with me for coffee tomorrow and doesn't pitch. I wasn't going to fall for the same trick twice.

I let my gut down with Walter but I wasn't going to do it again. My other senses are here to protect me, to guide me and make sure I don't do anything stupid. So whatever gut feeling I had from now onwards, I was going to listen. Whatever tingle I felt in my tummy, I was going to take it serious. I was not going to swipe right for any potential heartbreak from guys I literally met for 2 seconds.

" I guess we're here!"

He finally decided to say something.

" Goodbye Jax."

"I can always wait with you while you're waiting for your parents "

" I'm fine, I'll call my Mom. She'll be here in no time. Bye "

" So eager to get rid of me. Bye Thea."

He walked away, I could hear his footsteps. Then he paused.

He suddenly spoke, " You know, I'm glad I got to meet you."

Then he went away for real this time. I wish I could say the same about him but I couldn't. How could he be glad he met me? I was never nice to him and he is glad he met me. Or maybe he was being sarcastic?

"Siri, call Mom!"

Siri," Calling Mom!"

It rang for only a few seconds and she picked up.

I had to wait for Mom to come pick me up, I couldn't help but envy all those people who were able to drive themselves to anywhere they wanted. They were free.

Mom finally came and picked up, my mood was nowhere near cherry. It got me thinking about all the hope I had in the morning, on the same road, in the same car. I was almost a different person, I almost saw a tiny ray of light in my miserable life. But even that tiny little thing was gone, I chased every chance of me being happy. Me! I chased it. I was the darkness myself and I had no one to blame but me.

I hated myself, it was the only emotion which was easy to dig up. Hate! It was also the easiest to feel. I couldn't say I ever felt love towards myself, so I wouldn't know how that felt. Maybe there were times when I loved myself, but I can't even remember. All I remember is me being this hateful person.

If I hate myself you can already guess that it is not easy for me to love anybody else. Sometimes I do feel things but they just fade away and I end up burying myself in the hate, it's easier to accept the fact that I hate myself other than the thought that someone might...

" We're home, maybe you can finally talk."

" I'm tired Mom!"

" Thea, you haven't said a word.."

" Because maybe I don't feel like talking Mom and besides I have a session with Dr Flint tomorrow so I'm reserving my words."

" I'm really trying my best, but you're not helping me at all honey."

" Please Mom, can I just go to my room? "

" No Thea! We're going to talk! You're my daughter and I hate seeing you like this."

" And I hate myself! "

" Thea!"

" I'm going to my room!"

All I could think about was killing myself, how good it would feel if I cut myself and bleed to death. How great it would finally be if I'm no longer on this crap called earth. But all those emotions and thoughts must've drained all my energy because I passed out.

The next thing I know is being woken up by Bryce licking my face, a constantly ringing phone and someone sitting next to my bed. It was Dad. The scent,only his scent was like that.

" I didn't kill myself as you can see!"

" And I'm glad, your mom was worried you would. I knew you wouldn't!"

" How did you know?"

" Because for the first time after a long while today I felt I was looking at my daughter. You felt it too"

" Life is full of disappointments Thea, that's what makes it life but you don't just bail you fight."

" I'm tired Dad!"

" Aren't we all? Your phone's been ringing non stop please put the poor person out of their misery."

" No! I'm not picking up "

" Okay I'll get your Mom to pick it up for you!"

" No, I will. I'm fine Dad, I told you I won't kill myself and I won't. Can I have my privacy now?"

" Okay. I'll be back, you have to eat something. " closes the door on his way out.

I took my phone from my nightstand and swiped right," What?"
I knew it was Walter, I didn't exactly have a long contact list.

"Before you hang up, I'm sorry I can explain. "

" You don't have to. It's fine."

" No it's not, what I did was uncool. I could've texted or something."

" Well you didn't, and it's fine. I don't need your explanation Walter. Stop calling me."

" Can I atleast.."

" Walter, I'm pretty sure you heard me the first time. I don't need any explanation."

" You have every right to be mad but I really.."

" Whatever reason you didn't pitch, I'm glad you didn't. Otherwise I wouldn't have had the chance to know what I know now."

" Thea!Please I'm sorry."

" Bye Walter. For the record, I'm glad I met you!"