A Cruel Summer

Chapter 19

AN: F it, inspo has struck so we are back on

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Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, and the ache in Karlie's chest persists, a haunting reminder of the love she let slip away. Despite the passing of time, the pain lingers – a constant companion in Karlie's daily life. The routine of each day is a mere distraction, a way to pass the time as she grapples with the absence of Taylor.

In the quiet of the nights, in an empty bed, when the world is hushed and still, Karlie finds herself revisiting memories of Taylor. The laughter, the whispered confessions, the warmth of her presence. But woven into these beautiful moments are sharp edges of regret and the knowledge that she played a part in destroying something extraordinary.

She has spent her time reflecting, both in solitude and in therapy, seeking to unravel the complexities of her own heart. The therapist's office becomes an asylum where words, long kept silent, find a voice. Karlie explores the layers of her emotions, dissecting the choices that led to this moment of heartache and lonliness.

Her therapist recommends writing her emotions down, not necessarily as a message to Taylor, but as a mirror reflecting Karlie's own journey of self-discovery. The inked confessions on the pages could become a roadmap toward healing, a compass pointing her toward the rediscovery of happiness.

One evening, as the late spring sun paints the sky in hues of orange and pink, Karlie sits down with a pen and paper. The letter she begins to write is merely a cathartic release, an attempt to put into words the depths of her remorse and the genuine emotion she has struggled to express.

Dear Taylor,

I hope that I find the courage to send this letter and that it finds you in a place of peace and happiness. There are so many things I want to say, but words, even written ones, feel inadequate to cover the hurricane of emotions within me.

First and foremost, I need to say that I am profoundly sorry. I am sorry for the pain I caused you, for the scars I left on your heart. Your words reverberate in my mind every single day, an incessant reminder of the choices I made and the love I jeopardized. The truth you laid bare, the pain etched on your face – it has become a permanent part of my consciousness. I cannot escape the knowledge of the wounds I inflicted on the one person I would do anything to protect.

I want you to know that I have spent countless nights wrestling with the weight of my mistakes. And I am sorry, Taylor. I'm sorry for the pain I caused, for the choices I made that led us down a path of heartbreak. I'm sorry for allowing love to become a source of agony instead of the comfort it should have been.

Your anger is justified, and I accept the responsibility for being the cause of it. I should have been stronger, braver. I should have stood up for us, for you. Instead, I let fear dictate my actions, and in doing so, I betrayed the trust you placed in me and disparaged the love you gave me.

I'm sorry for making you feel like you were a second option, for not having the courage to choose a different path, our path, when I knew it was the right thing to do. I'm sorry for making promises I couldn't keep, for allowing you to be a secret in the shadows of my life.

The pain I saw in your eyes haunts me, and I am deeply sorry for the emptiness I left in your heart. You are right, Taylor. You deserve to be someone's first choice, someone's love without reservations, and I failed you in that regard. Please know the love I had for you was genuine, but it was clouded by my own shortcomings and insecurities. I wish I had the strength to stand up for us, to be the partner you deserved, rather than allowing myself to take the easy way out.