No Fucks Given

13

After his horny ass calmed down, we just been laying down and shit. I prolly dozed off a few times. I couldn't remember forreal. I was just mad comfortable.

He had his head on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around me. His ass was big, so it wasn't no cute shit on my end. I was getting squished, but it was obvious he loved this shit so I guess it wasn't that bad.

"You went back to sleep?" He spoke up.

"Nah. Just thinking."

He nodded. "You on't never tell me whatchu be thinking about."

"Just random ass shit." I said honestly.

"Darius." He said. He thought I was lying but I was forreal.

"I'm forreal. Ion be thinking bout shit forreal. Just be recapping mostly."

It went silent again.

"You be thinking bout me?" He said suddenly.

"Duh, nigga. Especially when you be doing shit that on't make sense. Like asking these stupid ass questions."

He started grinning. "Shut up. Fuck you." He said, hiding his face.

It went quiet. We just laid there as he drew circles on my stomach.

"So you wanna do sum today?" He spoke up.

"Nigga, ion know. I normally be in the house, less I'm on a run or som."

"You wanna be me so bad with yo wide forehead ass." Here his ass go grinning.

"That's ight. You the one in love with me and my forehead." I said, joking with him.

I still remembered the call. He has wasn't slick.

"Fuck you talking bout?"

I sucked my teeth. Don't act dumb now, nigga.

"Ain't say you love me over the phone that one day?"

He immediately paused and hid his face again. "I ain't even say all that." He mumbled.

"Man, stop fucking lying." I grumbled.

"You act like you gon say that shit back though. So what's the point of admitting it." He quickly got serious, but he didn't stop laying on me or playing on my chest.

I ain't even know what to say. I mean, I didn't know what to expect from bringing this up, especially if he actually did say he loved me.

Ion know, I thought he was just gon say yeah. Then I'd call him a gay ass nigga, we'd joke a lil bit, then we'd move on. I never thought about being in love with his ass nor telling him if I was.

I was busy in my thoughts so I ain't say nothing. Guess that ticked him off cause he sucked his teeth.

"See that's what I'm talking bout." He grumbled.

He got out of bed and started putting on clothes. My voice was still stuck in my throat.

"Uh, where you going?" I choked out finally.

"Fuck you care for, yo." He spat out. He had finished getting dressed and slid some slides.

"I'm gon smoke a blunt." He mumbled before walked out the room.

Yo, what the fuck just happened. I wanted to check on his ass. But part of me didn't get why his ass was so upset. I ain't tell you to fall in love with me nigga. And I ain't never known love, so why the fuck would I be in love with you? A nigga at that. Ion know maybe I was tripping.

I sat there thinking about my next move. I think imma just go home. Whatever just happened, ion wanna make shit worst.

I grabbed my clothes from last night and put em on. I made sure I had my phone and other shit before walking out his room.

Cas was on the couch. The tv was on football.

I got closer cause the least I could do was say bye. This nigga eyes was red as hell. He was straight slump.

"Uh, I'm gon go back to crib." I ain't say more than that. I wanted to keep it simple, especially when he this high.

"Cause you on't love me back. Ight. Leave like everybody else. I'll be ight." He said nonchalantly.

"Oh, ight."

I ain't know what I was feeling. But seeing him like this was...ion know. Shit made feel bad cause this ain't like him.

I just stood there. Ion know what I was doing. It just ain't feel right to leave things like this.

"We still doing that kiss each other goodbye shit?" I joked. I wanted us to be cool, for him to smile, shit some.

"Nah. We good. You on't gotta do shit you on't want to, yo."

"Ight." Guess I'll stop trying.

I walked to the door and walked out, closing it behind me. I unlocked my car and got in.

I didn't start the car, didn't pull off. I sighed, leaning my head against the steering wheel.

What if I wanted to kiss you, gay ass nigga. Huh, what then?