No Fucks Given

22

Darius

I wasn't expecting Unc wedding to be so damn fancy. Niggas was at the door asking me if I wanted to eat food I ain't never heard of. Big ass flowers and shit everywhere. It was in this fancy ass hall too.

This Ben dude really went all out. To my surprise, alot of family was there. Niggas I didn't know we was related to. Aunts, Uncles, little cousins, big cousins, all types of shit.

The actual ceremony went well though. They both chose black suits. The whole time at the alter Ben didn't stop smiling. I was the first best man and Von was the one to walk Unc down.

It was sappy as hell. All the I love yous, tight ass suits, and death do you part shit. Mad extra. If Cas ever wanna do this shit, we just gon go to the court house.

Cas came too, he part of the family now anyway. He was in the audience though or was supposed to be. I kept looking around for him and he was nowhere to be found. They asked him if he wanted to be a best man but he refused with his stubborn ass. Now, I'm wondering why. If he didn't wanna come, he should've just let me know.

So I had to wait until the reception to see my baby. I just hope he ain't get no ideas from this cause all this extra shit wasn't gon happen with me.

When I finally found him, he was at a table by himself looking all sad and shit.

Casius

Yo, I've never been to a wedding, but I wasn't expecting it to be like this. This place was big ass hell. All the servers had this expensive looking suits on. The tables was decked out in flowers. Even the tablecloths looked expensive. It's crazy.

The ceremony was...nice too. I ain't see much of it. I spent most of it outside smoking. I couldn't watch it. It just...hurt.

It was only four of them, but they was cool as hell with each other. Always had each other back, and all these people came just to see them. It was alot more than I ever had.

I really just had my mom and my lil sister. As I grew older, it became just me and li-li. Walking her to the bus stop, picking her up after school, stopping by the corner store for whatever new candy she wanted. Meanwhile, ma was working or hugged up on some new dude.

That was when I started hanging with the thug niggas at school. We was all fucked up in some way. Some niggas was in the foster system, others had parents on drugs and nowhere to go.

But of course, when ma found out she went crazy. She kicked me out and everything. I ain't seen li-li since. Moved in with some of the niggas in the gang until I finished high school.
Got my own shit when I graduated and that was that.

It was great seeing a family that actually fucked with each other. But it kept reminding me of the one I never had.

I don't know what Darius want from whatever we doing, and to be honest, I don't either, but, in the long run, I just want a family. Especially if that meant I could see my lil sister again.

"Aye, Cas, you good?" Darius voice called out.

I was probably just high but I didn't notice he was sitting right next to me. He placed his arm around my shoulder and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"Fo sho." I said absentmindly. "Just thinking."

I didn't go to kiss him nor did I lean into the embrace. I was just...numb.

"Fuck I do now?" He grunted.

"Nothing, Darius, chill." I sighed. It wasn't him, of course. It seemed like I always had something depressing on my mind.

"Aye, you sure? Cause you'll say that then snap on me the next."

I gave in when he started playing my hair. He low-key had an obsession with my hair. Learned that the hard way. Hair-pulling and all that. Wasn't like I didn't like it though.

"It ain't about you forreal. I just miss my sister." I said, laying on his shoulder.

"She dead or some?" He blurted out.

"That's what I be talking bout. You on't think fore you say stuff, but nah. Me and her got separated." I rambled.

And wonder why we always argue.

He sucked his teeth, but was quiet.

Even though I picked a table in the back. We could still see everyone well. The newly weds been on each other since the ceremony ended. On some cutesy shit: dancing, feeding each other cake. The dance floor had little kids and shit running around.

"Aye. Don't cry." Darius voice was next to me, wiping at my face.

"Who said I was crying?" I mumbled.

"I be tryna be nice man, but you be tryna argue." He laughed as I snuggled into him.

"Ain't nobody agruing. I just...want...I just..." At this point, I didn't what anything. I just wanted to go back home and be sad there. There was no point in wanting something I'd never have.

"Look, stop crying. I'll...We'll find her. I'd do anything to make you happy."

A small smile came on my face. I was still feeling a little bad, but Darius always turned my moods around.

And part of me wanted to believe him. I mean, course, he made me happy just spending everyday together. But to have my family back, yeah, ion think that was gon happen. My moms hated me and ion even think my little sister remember I exist. It was kinda hopeless, but Darius made me wanna think otherwise. Some bout him just turned my every thought on its head. Guess that's why I fell in love with his ass in the first place, huh?

To be continued...