i know now i can never love you the way you wish to be loved.
while i dream of sitting next to you, playing with your hair and humming our songs, you dream of adventure and early morning gym sessions.
i see us together, tangled in our sheets and watching reruns of friends - never again thinking about a time where we did not love one another. you see yourself with someone you can never argue with, but still find excitement within.
you and i argue constantly. we are like waves during a storm, pushing and pulling and plowing into one another. we are stubborn waves, refusing to be outdone by the other. we push and crash and fall and rise again. we are the same yet so different, so alike and unlike.
we are together but not together in a way that bonds us as "together".
you are the beautiful sunshine, hidden by clouds occasionally but often bringing exuberance to an otherwise uninteresting day. i am the dark moon, shining my hardest in a sky that is otherwise lifeless. i fight for the spotlight in a sky full of stars that are smaller yet somehow more interesting than i. i will never outshine those smaller specks of light. i will never capture the attention that i so wish from you.
you will always be one that i can not live without, while i will be someone drifting off in a distant memory of your college years.
i will spend my life missing you endlessly, while you will spend your days happily smiling with your wife and children.
you will be the one that got away. i don't think i will ever be okay once you are gone.
YOU ARE READING
thoughtful
Poetrya collection of notes from my most vulnerable moments. please note mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders/unhealthy nutritional habits, and mental illnesses may be mentioned. read at your own risk.
