Apprehension: Part One

SHAWN BLACKWELL'S OFFICE

Allie got out of the shower. She looked at herself in the mirror. Why did people think she was beautiful? She never thought that she was beautiful. She believed she had pretty eyes, a perfect nose, and beautiful lips, but they didn't look good on her face. She dried her hair, but it took her for what felt like forever. She put on a few swipes of mascara and a light pink lip gloss. She took one more look at herself. She made her way to the living room. She was in a crop top and a pair of cotton shorts.

Shawn was sitting in the armchair drinking a beer. She walked over to him and sat on his lap.

"Hello, my love," she cooed.

She started playing with his hair.

"You know, we have a perfectly good couch over there. Why don't you go sit on it," Shawn said, motioning to the couch with his bottle.

"I know. It's just been so long since we were together. I miss you—a lot. We haven't had much time together because of work. Ever since I came home, you feel a million miles away."

"I don't know how you've been here constantly since you returned. Do you even still have a place of your own? I don't remember us talking about you moving in."

He sounded annoyed.

"Shawn, where is this coming from?" she asked.

"I may want a night or two to myself. I didn't think you were ever going to be this clingy."

"I have had plenty of nights when I was working. I barely ever got to come home. Now I am finally on my leave, and you don't want me here? You didn't mind me being over here all the time in the beginning?"

"I guess the honeymoon phase is over," he said.

"Do you still find me attractive?"

"You look exactly like you did the day we met. No better, no worse, I guess."

"And if I remember, you couldn't keep your hands off me," she said.

"Guess I learned to keep my hands to myself."

She got up and went over to the couch. He had just verbally slapped her. She felt ridiculously small all of a sudden. She looked at the picture of Joyce. It was pushed all the way back and had all the knick-knacks back in front of it.

"Shawn, have you ever thought of getting remarried?"

He looked at her.

"You're fucking kidding me, right?" he asked.

"I..."

She didn't know how to respond.

"I'm going to the garage to get more beer for the fridge."

"Can you bring me one, please?"

"Sure, no problem. It's not like you'll have to drive home," he said.

She didn't understand why he was being so cruel. She had felt him grow distant in the last few months, and she didn't know if it was something she did or said. Things had been so good in the beginning.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Shawn said nothing. He walked away, and she heard the door out to the garage shut. Then his phone rang. The name Darcie came on the screen.

"Shawn, your phone is ringing! Do you want me to answer it?" she shouted.

He didn't hear her in the garage. The phone rang once and then immediately again. She picked it up and answered it.

"Shawn Blackwell's office, how can I help you?" she asked.

"Hi? Is Shawn there?" Darcie asked.

"I will check. Who's calling, and what is the reason for your call?