Apprehension: Part One

WHO'S ALEX?

"Hey, Allie?"

"What?"

"Who's Alex?" he asked.

"Alex?"

"You said, 'Oh God, Alex, yes' when you orgasmed."

"Oh, I am so sorry," she said. "I didn't even realize."

She felt horrible. If he had called her by another name, she would have already been dressed and out the door.

"Is that the person you weren't sure you were having a relationship with?" he asked.

"I'm sorry. Alex is the only person I have been with since Malibu. I waited three years before I let myself feel like that again."

"How long did you wait after you were with me?"

"How long did you wait after Joyce?"

He stayed silent.

"Honestly, I don't remember."

"I guess I just wasn't that important," he said.

"To quote you, are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"It was around a year or so. You really hurt me. I didn't trust anybody for a long time," Allie said.

"I have a confession to make," he said with trepidation.

"What? You're still married to Darcie?"

"No, I am not still married to Darcie. I knew you were here, in Cleveland, before I even came to interview for the position. I already made captain at the 216. I actually made it six years ago. Greg returned to visit some family when he came by the station to visit the guys. He told me that you were here. And that you looked amazing. " He said, "I looked for jobs here on my own."

"How did he know I was here?" she asked.

"He said he was at a warehouse fire on mutual aid, and you were directing traffic at the scene."

"I remember that fire. I hadn't been on the job long. I was still a rookie. Why didn't he say anything to me?"

"He tried, but by the time he was clear, you had already cleared the scene," he said.

"So, what are you saying, Shawn? Please tell me you didn't move to Cleveland because I was here. Did you move here to try to get back together?"

"The money and benefits are better here, but you would be the greatest benefit. I was hoping there would still be something between us. You said you loved me and that you would have married me. So, let's see if the spark is still there. I know I can feel it. I know you can, too."

"No, Shawn. I felt comfortable, not sparks. It was familiar," she said, sitting up.

"You love him, don't you?"

"Who?"

"Come on, Allie. Don't be like that. You know who. Alex. You love him."

"I'm not sure. But I know I would rather be with him than you."

"Holy shit Allie. That was cruel," he said, sitting up.

She walked into the living room and gathered her clothes.

He followed her.

"I didn't mean it like that. That came out wrong."

"Then what the hell did you mean?"

"What I meant was that if I were going to be in a committed relationship with someone right now, it would be him. You have been gone from my life for almost a decade."