Snap, Crackle, Pop! (Friends X Male Reader)

The One With Two Parts, Part 2

[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter.  Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]

Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)

Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.

Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?

(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)

Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.

(Monica helps Rachel over to a vacant seat.)

Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow.

(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)

Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?

Rachel: You.

Monica: Really?

Rachel: Yeah.

Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?

Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.

Monica: (No longer touched) you don't have insurance?

Rachel: Why, how much is this gonna cost?

Monica: I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.

Rachel: Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do?

Monica: Well there's not much we can do.

Rachel: (Like a big baby) Um... unless, unless I use yours.

Monica: Hah, no no no no no no no no no no.

Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?

Monica: (Looking around to check that no-one's listening, then lowering her voice anyway) That's insurance fraud.

Rachel: Well, alright, then, forget it. (Getting up to go) Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow!

Monica: (Jumping up to make Rachel sit down) Okay, okay. I hate this.

Rachel: Thank you. Thank you. I love you.

Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).

Nurse: Why?

Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, (tiny laugh) I put mine.

Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).

Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, has split up his newspaper so Y/n and Joey can look at the funnies, while Ross's inappropriate joke at Lamaze class has come back to haunt him.]

Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.

Y/n, Chandler, and Joey: That's nice.

Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.