Snap, Crackle, Pop! (Friends X Male Reader)

The One With the Baby on the Bus

[Open to Monica and Rachel's place, Monica, Y/n, Chandler, Joey, Ross and Ben are there.  Ben is sitting in his little rocking seat.]

Monica: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. (Ben starts crying.) Don't cry. Don't cry. (To Ross) Why is he still crying?

Ross: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are.

Monica: Maybe it's me.

Ross: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.

Chandler: You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.

Ross: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)

Monica: There's my little boy. (Ben starts crying again)

Y/n: Can I, uh, see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying. He does that a couple times.) Did you put anything new one?

Joey: Cool.

Monica: He hates me. My nephew hates me.

Ross: Come on, don't do this.

Monica: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?

Chandler: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. (Monica [and Y/n slightly] glare at him.) Joey, she does not look fat.
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[Scene continues from earlier. Chandler has a basketball.]

Monica: (to Chandler) Here you go. (Sets a drink down in front of him.)

Chandler: Oh hey Monica. (He holds the basketball in front of Monica.)

Joey: (imitating Ben) Waah!! (Chandler moves the basketball away) Goo, goo, goo. (Chandler moves the basketball in front of Monica again.) Waaah!

Y/n: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Monica: That is so funny. Let me see that a sec. (She throws the ball out the window)

Y/n: Figured. (Ross starts to make some gurgling sounds.) Uh, do you have rabies or something?

Ross: I don't know. What's in this pie?

Monica: Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi...

Ross: Kiwi? Kiwi? You said it was a key lime pie.

Monica: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.

Ross: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.

Y/n: That's a new one.

Monica: No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and...

Ross: Ugh.

Monica: Oh my god.

Ross: Ugh. It's definitely getting worse.

Monica: Is your tongue swelling up?

Ross: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.

Monica: All right, get your coat, we're gonna go to the hospital. Y/n helps me out!