Snap, Crackle, Pop! (Friends X Male Reader)

The One After the Superbowl

(A/n: With this I am caught up. New chapter on Sunday)

[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]

[A guy is sitting at his desk and his boss comes in and drops a huge pile of papers on his desk. The guy looks dejected.]

COMMERCIAL VOICEOVER: Can't get the monkey off your back? Then put it in your mouth...

[A monkey jumps on the desk and hands the guy a beer. He opens the beer and is suddenly on the beach, in a hammock, with beautiful women all around.]

COMMERCIAL VOICEOVER: ...With MonkeyShine Beer. [MonkeyShine theme] MonkeyShine Beer, 'cause it's a jungle out there.]

[Camera pans back from the TV to show the gang watching.]

ROSS: That commercial always makes me so sad.

JOEY: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK.

ROSS: I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel.

PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin.

Y/N: And the fact that they're both monkeys.

ROSS: Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, ya know, giving him away.

RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.

ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.

CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.

Y/N: [gets a call] Hello? Mom? What's that...no... no I will not quit my job. And will you stop setting up dates for me? I'm good.... Yes I'm sure... no, I am not going on- hello?

JOEY: What was that all about? Never seen you talk to your mom like that.

RACHEL: Yeah, what's going on?

Y/N: Well (sigh) My mom's trying to get me to quit being a bartender.

MONICA: What, why?

PHOEBE: I know Jamie never approved of it but I thought she would've moved past it by now.

Y/N: She thinks I need to go out there and find a partner for me.

ROSS: I... guess that's... sweet-

CHANDLER: (realizes) She's trying to force you to date gay men, right?

Y/N: Ding, ding, ring-a-ling ding!

——

—-

[Scene: Central Perk. Y/n, Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]

[Joey enters holding a letter]

JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.

CHANDLER: Rhythm?

JOEY: No, my first fan mail.

ALL: Alright!

Y/N: We just got a letter, we just got a letter ~

MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'