Snap, Crackle, Pop! (Friends X Male Reader)

The One Where Mr. Heckles Dies

[At Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Chandler is playing poker.]

Chandler: (entering) Hey.

All: Hey!

Monica: So how was Joan?

Chandler: I broke up with her.

Ross: Don't tell me, because of the big nostril thing?

Chandler: They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.

Rachel: Come on, they were not that huge.

Chandler: I'm tellin' you, she leaned back; I could see her brain.

Y/n: Bud, you know you're not gonna get many partners if you're gonna reject every small detail. If you like a girl, just love her with or without flaws.

Joey: Hold it, hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.

Chandler: (To Ross) You or me?

Ross: I'll leave it to Y/n. He's more versatile in that department.

Y/n: I got it. Hey, Joey, you know women don't have Adam's apples, right?

Joey: You guys are messing with me, right?

All: Yeah.

Joey: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
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[At Monica and Rachel's, Y/n is getting Phoebe, Ross, and Chandler a mixed drink.]

Monica: Woo! Shake that thing!

Y/n: We are talking about the mixer, right?

Rachel: Yeah, yeah, sure.

Phoebe: (to Chandler) You, name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.

Chandler: Maureen Rosilla.

Ross: "'Cause she doesn't hate Yanni," is not a real reason.

Chandler: Well, why don't you ask Y/n?

Rachel: Well, that's not fair. Y/n seems like the kind of guy who girls would love.

Y/n: Yeah, don't give me praise. I'm barely getting by, it's unnatural for me.

Chandler: When we were in school, he literally would not tie his shoes.

Monica: What would does that have to do with anything?

Chandler: He literally never tied the knot.

Y/n: Hah! I got that reference.

Monica: Did you have any partners?

Y/n: Hmm, I think I made love to a bunch of people when I was in school, but it wasn't a relationship.

Ross: So... like a playboy?

Y/n; No, no. It was all consensual. I was never in a big relationship until after I got out. (Pauses) Then I've been on few dates... but none really wanted to know the real me. Just the bartender so they could get drinks...

Monica: Well, I for one appreciate you.

Y/n: (smiles) Thanks, Mon. (Drops off the drinks) Alright, that's what everyone requested.