Snap, Crackle, Pop! (Friends X Male Reader)

The One With The Fake Monica

[Scene: Y/n's eating an omelette he's made at the table]

Y/n: Oh, this tastes so good. The rice is so-

Joey: (enters) Hey, man!

Y/n: Oh, hey, what's going on?

Joey: Nothing much, just bought some new rice.

Y/n: (raises an eyebrow) What... what about the rice we have?

Joey: Well, you know how we were all talking about how I cook naked sometimes?

Y/n:...Yeah...?

Joey: Well, I was cooking and I kinda spilled some on the floor.

Y/n:...I'm following...

Joey: Well, I didn't know how good it was for so I did the five second rule...

Y/n: With that much rice...?

Joey: Yeah I know, but because I was naked some fell on my... y'know.

Y/n: *Drops fork* Uh...

Joey: Don't be worried! I put it all in a container in case anyone knows if it was still good. I just bought new ones cause I didn't know.

Y/n: (fearful) Joey, are you telling me that I'm eating... dirty dick-rice?

Joey; For your information, I clean it very well! (Y/n rushes to the bathroom and starts puking) I'm guessing the rice isn't good anymore, huh?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]

Joey: How could someone get a hold of your credit card number?

Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!

Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.

Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.

Y/n: I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.

Chandler: Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.

Monica: That's me.

Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)

Ross: Marcel, stop humping the lamp! Stop humping! Now Marcel, come back- (Marcel runs toward Rachel's room) come here, Marcel-

Rachel: Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him.

Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.

Ross: What? It's, it's just a phase.

Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...

Ross: Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.

Rachel: (Out of shot) Stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!

Y/n: What?

Rachel: Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.

Y/n: Speaking of no longer curious, Ross, I need to move in with you.

Ross: What? Why? (Whispers what happened) Oh, ewww. Did you brush your teeth?

Y/n: Of course I brushed my teeth, Ross! I'm not an idiot! Listen, I don't want to have that happen again.

Ross: I like the privacy and cleanliness. I can't help you man, I'm sorry-.

Y/n: I'll pay for rent and give you free drinks at the bar.