Snap, Crackle, Pop! (Friends X Male Reader)

The One With All The Poker

[The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)

Ross: Uh, Rach, we're running low on resumes over here.

Y/n: And paper... the forest is gonna be pissed at you, Rich Girl.

Monica: Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?

Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.

Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'

Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?

Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?

Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.

Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?

Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

[Scene: Central Perk, Y/n, Ross, and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]

Monica: Hey, guys.

Chandler and Ross: Hey.

Y/n: Yo, what's shaking, Mon?

Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?

Monica: Lots of responses.

Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.

Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)

Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon...

Monica: (reading): OK... Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. (crumpes up letter)

Phoebe: Wow!

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!

Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!

(Camera cuts to Y/n, Chandler, and Ross at table.)

Y/n: Ross, I think Linda is a great catch. What's holding you back, man?

Ross: I don't know.

Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?

Ross: No, it's not just that. It's just—I want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)

Y/n and Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?

Ross: What?

Y/n; Don't 'What' us?

Chandler: Could you want her more?

Ross: Who?

Chandler: (sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening.

Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii!

Rachel: Hi! How are you?

Ross: We're fine, we're fine.

Rachel: OK. (walks away)

(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Y/n, Ross, and Chandler laugh at him.)